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Ooh, no-no juice!

Troy [on wine]

You know who has real conversations? Ants. They talk by vomiting chemicals in each other's mouths. They get right down to brass tacks

Jeff

After they get frightened by the evening news, many people seek the foods and soothing music of a pre-racial America.

Diner owner

I like your sweater. Did it come with a golden retriever?

Jeff

Abed: What could I do? It was Cougar Town.
Jeff: If you want me to take it seriously, stop saying its name.

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