Troy: Jeff, what do you do when you and your best friend want to ask the same girl to Valentine's Day but neither of you have dibs 'cause both of you fell in love with her at the first sight?
Jeff: Well, I don't believe in dibs, or love at first sight, or love, or best friends, or doing things, but it's good you brought this to me.

Pierce, take it from an expert. These people are just outside your heart. Let them in, before it's too late.


What is it about me that make broken people flock to me? Is it my height? Do huddled masses mistake me for the statue of liberty?


For the record, I never thought you were cool. I only thought you were a lesbian.


Landline? Ok, Grandma Bell.


In England everything means 'vagina.'


Jeff: What are you doing here Change and how do you know where I live?
Chang: I can answer both of those questions by returning your driver's license.

Worried that your six-headed ball and chain will be calling?


If you have to ask if it's homophobic to ask questions, haven't you already answered your own question?


If doctors are so smart, why are there millions of them?

Helicopter Pilot

Maybe we all need some space, to pull the knife out of the back of the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the 90s you selfish, jaded ass!


He also listens to the Barenaked Ladies. Go get their dumbasses to help you.


Community Season 2 Episode 15 Quotes

Is she a friend of Ellen?


I wish I was a book. She could pick me up, flip through my pages. Make sure nobody drew wieners in me.