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I made a new rule that the air conditioning school has to act like a real school. I can do that because I'm their Messiah.


You were like a white Blair Underwood.


Don't use gay as a derogatory term. Boo-yeah! Good person.


Helping only ourselves is bad and helping each other is good.


Britta: Everything is terrible.
Annie: Have you been watching Dance Moms again?

You're VH1, Robocop 2 and Back to the Future 3. You're the center slice of a square cheese pizza. Actually, that sounds delicious. I'm the center slice of a square cheese pizza. You're Jim Belushi.

Evil Abed

You fix not only air conditioners. But the men who fix them.

Vice Dean Laybourne

Abed: I'm reading the novelization of The Chronicles of Riddick.
Evil Abed: Can you really say that's a saner decision?

Britta: Shut up, Leonard. I know about your crooked wang.
Leonard: No such thing as bad press.

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