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Jeff! You crafty jack rabbit!

Annie

Annie will always be driven, Shirley will always be giving, Pierce will never apologize, Britta's sort of a wildcard from my perspective and Jeff will forever remain a conniving son of a bitch.

Abed

Drug addict?? You're a pie pusher!!!

Britta [to Shirley]

Troy: Do we have to refill the toilet olives?
Abed: Nope I just checked.
Troy: You're the best roommate. Wanna stay up all night talking in our bunkbeds?

His whole personality is based around guarding himself. You don't have to be like that to be a man.

Britta [about Jeff]

I can't believe there are two mahogany bunkbeds in there. I bet that cost you a few allowances.

Jeff [to Troy]

Jeff: Oh look! Indiana Jones and the Apartment of Perpetual Virginity.
Troy: Chops busted fellow adult, chops busted.

That guys sucks harder than toilets in an airplane bathroom.

Troy [about Jeff]

Just so you know Jeff, you're not creating six different timelines.

Abed
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