Community

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I'll be spinning hits from yesterday and today, which are basically the same to me, since I have changnesia.

Chang

So was that girl an alien, or a toddler with a growing disease?

Troy

As someone who faked being a lawyer for seven years, I appreciate your commitment to the bit.

Jeff

Hey Britta, where's Sophie B.? Is she backstage, drinking Zima and counting out Beanie Babies?

Jeff

I've been making a conscious effort to get away from filtering everything through TV. I figured it's time I showed some growth. It's been 3 1/2 seasons...is what the old me would have said.

Abed

Anything could happen between now and that dance. An asteroid could hit. Do you want to be the schmuck who apologizes right before the world ends?

Pierce

I had to hitchhike home last night in a burrito truck. It's not as fun as it sounds.

Troy

Dean: The perfect mix of low intellect, limited ambition, and limitless parental support.
Jeff: So, a rich dum-dum who will never graduate and keep dropping money into the school indefinitely. Got it.

Pierce Hawthorne has taken 80% of Greendale's classes twice. He is the only Greendale student who has ever paid for a premium locker or the extended pencil warranty.

Dean

Britta: We do need the money. The biology department's been dissecting the same dead pig for ten years.
Dean: If we get this money, we can buy 100 pigs and make everybody happy.

If I wanted to wait on a rich man hand and foot, I would have gone to Dubai with that sheik I met at Trader Joe's.

Britta

The barber shop--a reminder of the era when men were men, and women were sex-cooks who did laundry.

Pierce
Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 873 in total

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.