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Professor Duncan/ ZimZam: So we can afford to create a new model of weaponized vehicle once a week, but we basically get minimum wage to risk our lives?
Dean Pelton/ Vice Cobra Assistant Commander: Well, welcome to Cobra, ZimZam! Maybe you noticed our logo was a snake? Suck it up, guys!

I'm Neo in the third act of The Matrix. I'm also Neo in the first act of the second Matrix.

Jeff/ Wingman

Imaginary Britta is right--and ONLY Imaginary Britta.

Abed/ Fourth Wall

Take me with you! I want to see women's boobs!

Cobra Commander

Cobraaaaa! Avenge my totally platonic friend!

Cobra Commander

Look, I think I'm over-explaining it. The bad guys are snakes and the good guys are army people.

Announcer

Hank Hickey: You know where he was for most of my birthdays? A little place that rhymes with 'not there.'
Chang: Times Square?

I'll imaginary-sleep when I'm imaginary-dead.

Professor Hickey

Well, I'm assuming you guys can help me beat him. Because if we lose, I'm going to punch you each in the heart.

Professor Hickey

That's what I love about role-playing games--being told exactly what to do.

Hank Hickey

Hank Hickey: So, Dad, I'm just curious--what is it about Dungeons and Dragons that suddenly leaped out at you at age 60?
Professor Hickey: Dungeons. It'd be the dungeons.

I don't really know how girlfriends work, but I don't think you have one any more.

Anthony
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 873 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]