You're not the Marco Polo of bullying me. You're just another tourist taking pictures of a great big wall.


Abed: If you were a post-apocalyptic survivor--
Professor Hickey: I would raise goats, hoard cinnamon, and only travel at night. But please--I have some work to do here.

I'm going to crash the premiere of the Kickpuncher reboot dressed as classic Kickpuncher. They shouldn't have redesigned that costume. Keep your heads in the sand if you want.


No, come back! Let's be fat dogs about this!


Man, this got Sorkin-y.

Dean Pelton

My god, Annie, what kind of labyrinth have you created? Certainly not the magic kind with puppets and macho rock stars.

Dean Pelton

Welcome to the labyrinth, kid--only there ain't no puppets or bisexual rock stars down here.

Buzz Hickey

There you go, that should happen in six to eight business months.

Crazy Schmidt

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.

Britta: Do you feel like this game's gotten out of hand?
Jeff: Nah. Feels normal enough for a school that's on 911's blocked caller list.

We're human beings, not the editors of Teen Vogue!


Did you all hit your heads on each other's heads?


Community Quotes

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]

I need Purell for my brain.