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Welcome to Shirley Island, where all your dreams come true! If you dream of standing on a table and pissing in a jar.

Shirley

Alright, Miss Perry, climb aboard; it's fake-killing time.

Buzz Hickey

Fifty thousand dollars! That's fifty thousand lottery tickets!

Starburns

Britta: You guys ready for closure?!
Buzz Hickey: Of your caskets?!

Troy: I'm better at sex than Jeff, right?
Britta: I've yet to have anyone worse.

I've never been to LegoLand. I just wanted you guys to think I was cool.

Troy

You told me a hawk stole them! You exploited me and made me believe in a slightly more magical world!

Britta

Answer the question, Adrian Grody!

Annie

If I had a final wish, I'd use it to stay alive.

Abed

Once you reach level 16, you can see the color blurple.

Troy

Troy and Abed: Troy and Abed are in mourning!
Jeff: Will you guys please stop doing that?
Annie: I can't believe you did it during your eulogy. SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
Abed: I don't think the audience got that we were singing "mourning" with a "u."
Troy: You were singing :"mourning" with a "u"? Oh no!

I guess I knew Pierce was part of a weird, futuristic cult, but I wasn't prepared for a funeral with so much beeping.

Annie
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 873 in total

Community Quotes

Maintenance Guy: Sorry, routine light switch check.
Jeff: That is not a thing!

Stop being meta. Stop taking everything we do and shoving it up its own ass.

Jeff
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