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Welcome to Shirley Island, where all your dreams come true! If you dream of standing on a table and pissing in a jar.

Shirley

Alright, Miss Perry, climb aboard; it's fake-killing time.

Buzz Hickey

Fifty thousand dollars! That's fifty thousand lottery tickets!

Starburns

Britta: You guys ready for closure?!
Buzz Hickey: Of your caskets?!

Troy: I'm better at sex than Jeff, right?
Britta: I've yet to have anyone worse.

I've never been to LegoLand. I just wanted you guys to think I was cool.

Troy

You told me a hawk stole them! You exploited me and made me believe in a slightly more magical world!

Britta

Answer the question, Adrian Grody!

Annie

If I had a final wish, I'd use it to stay alive.

Abed

Once you reach level 16, you can see the color blurple.

Troy

Troy and Abed: Troy and Abed are in mourning!
Jeff: Will you guys please stop doing that?
Annie: I can't believe you did it during your eulogy. SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
Abed: I don't think the audience got that we were singing "mourning" with a "u."
Troy: You were singing :"mourning" with a "u"? Oh no!

I guess I knew Pierce was part of a weird, futuristic cult, but I wasn't prepared for a funeral with so much beeping.

Annie
Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 873 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]