Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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[Andy and Ellie watching their sex tape]
Andy: Is my back really that hairy?
Ellie: Yes
Andy: Is this in slow motion?
Ellie: No
Andy: Can we just erase this?
Ellie: Yes

Laurie [about Ellie]: She's hot for a frigid, beastly, elderly woman
Ellie: You think I'm hot
Jules: That worked?
Ellie: Well yeah because if that trashy big lipped slag said it, it might be a little true
Laurie: You think I have big lips? That's really sweet

I just wanted us to have a thing like me and my dad did. You don't like golf, you don't like boats, you don't like throwing things at each others nuts. I just don't know what part of you is me

Bobby [to Travis]

Travis: As a grown man you think it's a good idea to store most of your earthly possessions in the woods?
Bobby: Calm down, what's a squirrel gonna do with a blender?

I have so many chin whiskers I look like carnie folk

Jules [looking in small mirror]

Jules: Are you watching my sex tape?
Ellie: Yeah, but with the volume off so it's not so weird

Jules: I can't believe I was married to a guy who keeps his driver's license in a box
Bobby: A box marked important stuff

Jules: Oh look who got laid last night
Andy: That's right chumps, missionary accomplished!

Ellie: Why are you out of breath
Jules: Cause I'm sanding down my disgusting elephant heels. With all the shavings here I could make a second foot

Displaying all 9 quotes

Cougar Town Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Jules: Oh look who got laid last night
Andy: That's right chumps, missionary accomplished!

Ellie: Why are you out of breath
Jules: Cause I'm sanding down my disgusting elephant heels. With all the shavings here I could make a second foot