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Nothing could ever make me stop loving you. Except you not drinking. Twelve steps, schmelsteps. Alcohol makes people fun.


One time I was trekking through Nepal, I had to act out, "where can I get a tampon?" to a monk. This conversation? Harder than that.


Laurie: I'm still young enough that I can totally change who I am.
Ellie: We can only hope.

Jules: Travis, come here. If I die I need to know that you will never be able to move on.
Travis: How about I grieve for three months but then I look for you in every girl I date?
Jules: Deal.

I'm as old as two twenty year olds, so maybe it will feel like a Ménage à trois.


Jules: She's so young she may actually be from the future.
Ellie: Does her dad work on the moon?

Grayson: Oprah says talking on your cell while driving is crazy dangerous.
Travis: Does Oprah say anything about how lame it is for a grown ass man to watch Oprah?
Grayson: Nope, she loves us.

Laurie: She almost hit a cop.
Jules: It was a crossing guar. If it was a cop I would have slowed down when sure started chasing us.

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