Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar-town

Jules: I'm not gonna stand here and be judged by someone who doesn't even have a nineteen year old, and most of all, who thinks there's a ghost in her pickup truck.
Ellie: Then...who keeps moving my sunglasses Jules? Who?

Ellie: I'm gonna say it. The clingy mom act? It's not cute anymore. In fact, it's ugly on you. Just like scarves.
Jules: I look bad in scarves?
Ellie: They give you bird face.

Jules: I put cough syrup in his lemonade and he fell asleep in a hole.
Ellie: You know, out of context, that sounds like a horrible abduction story.

Ellie: Imaginary hat!
Jules: Imaginary hook hands! I don't know what we're doing.

Jules: Hey, Trav, did you happen to find any of Tom's business in those holes?
Travis: Lemme check. Nope.
Jules: Sorry Tom, none of your business over here.

Sorry I couldn't hear you. The breasts she was pressing into my back were way too loud.

Andy

Suze Orman called with another investment tip. Bags...of...paint!

Grayson

Laurie: You have to spend money to make money, right?
Bobby: That's a popular saying, so I believe in it. It's like "Location, Location, Location." I don't know what the hell that means, but man I believe it to the core.

Bobby: Man, my name has got a lot of B's in it.
Laurie: My name doesn't have any B's in it.
Bobby: Sorry I brought it up.

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