Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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I don't remember taking any hallucinogenic drugs, but why else would I be seeing you in my house?

Ellie

I did not watch Chapstick, but I did watch him to leave.

Ellie

Oh come on Ellie, we all know Travis is ambitious, talented, and has a fantastic work ethic. [Everyone laughs]

Grayson

Ellie: Stan is a major handful.
Laurie: Bitch please, one of my brother's thought he was a pitbull.

Yep, we raised a deadbeat.

Jules

Laurie: Highway to the lady zone, what what.
Ellie: Highway indeed.

Ellie: We're at a public event this is not the place for ear sex and a full body rub down.
Laurie: All you do is take me granted.

What does the cougar say?

Title Card

What’s the fun of having a yard sale if we can’t mock the low life's that shop there?

Ellie

There is no greater tragedy than outliving your own wine glass.

Ellie

Letting you put this green screen in my apartment was one the worst mistakes of my life, and I've went out with Dennis Rodman y’all.

Laurie

I haven’t hurt this bad since I had to push my childhood home to a gas station. I would give anything to stop.

Laurie
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 652 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!