Cougar Town

Cougar Town Quotes (Page 2)

Season 4 Episode 11: "Saving Grace"

Jules: Time for family dinner.
Grayson: Uh, if it's family, then why is she here?
Ellie: What am I supposed to do eat with Andy? I did that yesterday.
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I've got a whole box of old positives at my house.
Ellie: You're an American treasure.
 • Rating: Unrated

Travis: You know, I've actually been experimenting at school.
Ellie: I totally called that!
Jules: What's his name? Is he cute?
Travis: I meant with religion.
Jules: Aw man, I was excited to show you how cool I'd be about it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Laurie: You're dressing like a lady who would do stuff for just a little bit of crack.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 10: "You Tell Me"

Laurie: Man hands? You're stealing jokes from Seinfeld now?
Jules: Was that that Jewish guy you dated in High School?
Ellie: No, he had a huge TV show. Must see TV?
Jules: Never heard of it. No one's gonna tell me what's must see.
 • Rating: Unrated

Title Card: This episode was written by the absolute worst writers we have on staff.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: He looks like that nerdy lesbian from Scooby-Boo.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bobby: Well come on Mando, you're married Ellie. You're a seasoned crazy bitch whisperer. No offense.
Laurie: You know, he once bitch whispered me down from choking out a lady from using the handicap stall. Turns out she was handicapped, but, like, barely.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 9: "Make It Better"

Title Card: Welcome to Cougar Town. Asking the tough questions about sex robots.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: What the hell was that?
Laurie: You're getting landlined.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: Should I remove your nuts?
Laurie: Oh, it's not you, she's just a horrible person.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bobby: Man, it's like watching your kid die in battle.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: I'm not high anymore.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: Dershwasher
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 8: "You and I Will Meet Again"

Title Card: Courteney Cox's boobs at 06:33
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: This will cheer you up! I have really good news?
Ellie: Are you sterile?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: Hey pale face, how's the sun feel for the first time?
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 7: "Flirting With Time"

Title Card: This one's for you continuity nerds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: Uh, I think I sweated off my birth control patch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: Honey, cutting crotches out of pants is not sewing.
 • Rating: Unrated

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