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Cougar-town

Ellie: What the hell? I don't want to have see this everyday.
Jules: Really, rainbows get you riled up?

Ellie: Hello Tom, to what do we owe the creepy displeasure?
Tom: Jules left her curtains open. That's how she signals me to come over.

Well don't try to stop me if I'm Vogueing on top of a cab.

Jules

I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to eat, shower, or put on sunscreen. I mean, ultimately, I put on sunscreen. I have to. I'm a pale weirdo.

Travis

If someone was up on my man like that. I would lace up my ass kicking boots.

Laurie

Ellie: If I get murdered I need you to tell the police something.
Laurie: Seriously, if I had a dime.

Ellie: You know if they just wanted to see some dumb, townie ho floppin' her ta-tas all they need to do is stay here and give ten dollars to-
Laurie: Yeah, yeah, yeah I know where you're goin' with this.
Ellie: Let me finish. You.

Grayson: You're not my Mom.
Jules: Don't sass me! I am not in the mood.

Jules: So you're telling me that you didn't wear kneepads because the other guys were making fun of you?
Grayson: And because I'm not a baby.

This is my fault. I should have written a note by the phone that says "Bobby, do not answer my phone." Oh, I was wrong here it is.

Jules

He's like a newborn calf on wheels.

Jules

Forget for one second that if you let one Torres into your home every second and third cousin on the Eastern Seaboard will drop by to say hi.

Ellie
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 245 in total

Cougar Town Season 2 Quotes

Plus, I get to lean on my Gracieship.

Jules

Travis: I don't get it how is that a drinking game?
Jules: We drink while we do it.

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