Ellie: Eat your chips, Jellybean.
Laurie: I don't wanna.
Ellie. Play with the bag.

When Smith dumped me. It literally took me months to get back to a place where I could sleep with random dudes to feel good about myself.


One Soy Latte for Lady J. Love Explosion.


You know how hard it is to shower when you don't have a shower?


Ugh, captain's patch has still got a little sand in it from my sea shower.


Ellie: You use four towels every shower
Jules: Face, body, hair, feet!

Laurie: Wait, why do we have to have coffee over here?
Jules: 'Cause wherever I am is where we have coffee.
Ellie: But this is horrible.

I'm gonna need a bigger boat.


Jules: I fought a bum for wine and lost.
Ellie: Didn't you mom teach you bums always win wine fights?

Jules: It's time to suck up!
Ellie: That's for boys.
Jules: It's time to uterus up!

I also want to believe my haircut doesn't make me look like I'm the mayor of a small Mexican town.


I used to watch Jeopardy! everyday because I had a major lady rod for Alex Trebek. Till I found out he was Canadian. Gross.


Cougar Town Season 2 Quotes

Plus, I get to lean on my Gracieship.


Travis: I don't get it how is that a drinking game?
Jules: We drink while we do it.