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Cougar-town

Jules: It's time to suck up!
Ellie: That's for boys.
Jules: It's time to uterus up!

I also want to believe my haircut doesn't make me look like I'm the mayor of a small Mexican town.

Travis

I used to watch Jeopardy! everyday because I had a major lady rod for Alex Trebek. Till I found out he was Canadian. Gross.

Laurie

Just remember. You can't hear the world laughing at you if you're laughing harder.

Bobby

Never judge a book by its front parts.

Laurie

Ellie: Hey bartender how could you miss a question about bartending?
Grayson: I don't know. You missed the one about blood draining parasites.
Ellie: It's not the same.
Grayson: It is the same.

It chews gum while it eats buffalo wings. How did it beat us?

Ellie

Cool! Wizard versus Nerd!

Grayson

Wrong Balls is trending on Twitter. It's above Bieber.

Laurie
Displaying quotes 46 - 54 of 245 in total