Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar-town

If there is a ridiculous Cuban hiding over there, you can tell him that it's fine if he wants to go dancing with Trampface tonight.

Ellie

Tell her I'll get like, jury duty drunk.

Laurie

Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.

Having a baby in your forties is exhausting, and people will judge you if you keep a sippy cup full of wine in the stroller so you can pound grape.

Ellie

Men start being needy so young. Grayson's still like that. But instead of letting him nuzzle up with my boobs I let him...nope, it's the same thing. He dives right in like he owns the place.

Jules

Oh that's right. You have a kid!

Jules (to Ellie)

Jules: Ellie is not a morning person. Or a night person. There's really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Ellie: The best part is you never know when they're coming.

Jules: I'm not gonna stand here and be judged by someone who doesn't even have a nineteen year old, and most of all, who thinks there's a ghost in her pickup truck.
Ellie: Then...who keeps moving my sunglasses Jules? Who?

Ellie: I'm gonna say it. The clingy mom act? It's not cute anymore. In fact, it's ugly on you. Just like scarves.
Jules: I look bad in scarves?
Ellie: They give you bird face.

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