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Cougar-town

Ellie: I can't be married to someone in public office. Jules, I have to interact with people. You know I hate the people.
Jules: That's what you get for telling Holly our thing was cancelled.
Ellie: You know what I hope? The Karma Gods get you.

Grayson: You know when you're kissing Holly and she pushes her gum into your mouth and she sucks it back in? Why is that so hot?
Travis: Probably her big boobs.

Jules: You know what I learned from my friendship with Ellie?
Grayson: There's no such thing as too mean?
Travis: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?
Jules: Always hold a grudge?

If there's anything we've learned from Michelle Pfieffer in Dangerous Minds, or Sandy Bullock in The Blind Side, or Hilary Swank in that movie nobody ever saw, is that all you need to fix minority problems is a really pretty white woman.

Laurie

[Title Card]: She's marrying a man her own age, so why is it called Cougar Town?

So you think Bobby and I could produce a doctor? [Jules and Grayson both laugh]

Jules

Andy: Ellie's just jealous because she thinks I care more about you than her.
Bobby: Do you?
Andy: Yes, it's not even close.

When you get up from that ottoman I'd go get a pregnancy test.

Jules

Andy: He's your son.
Ellie: He needs to learn.

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