Cheryl: Larry, what is in your nose?
Larry: It's a tampon.

Larry: He's a Swede.
Funkhouser: He is? I was at his house for hanukkah.

Everybody's getting a chance to get divorced except me.


I got a Swede lawyer?!? She's gonna get everything!


First of all, I commend you on the demographics. A Black, an Asian, and are you a Jew per chance?


Larry: Why don't you get a divorce?
Funkhouser: I'm too lazy.

Larry: Guy pulls up to me on a motorcycle. Guess who it turns out to be?
Jeff: Portia De Rossi.

Larry: Everything okay?
Kiera: I uhh think I just had my first period.

Kiera: Do you like girl scout cookies?
Larry: I find them abhorrent, but come in.

I get plenty of hook ups Larry. You don't see 'em. You don't notice the small shit, Larry.


Larry: It says "all you can eat."
Manager: Well it's all "you can eat."

What are you fucking kidding me? You think we're gonna have a nice divorce if we ever get divorced. No fucking way. I'm taking you for everything you have Mister. I'm taking your balls, and I'm thumbtacking them to the wall.


Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 8 Episode 1 Quotes

You should have recused yourself. We can't go up against each other. It's in the code. The bald code.


Larry: You know what Berg, I like the cut of your jib.
Berg: Thank you very much Captain.