Cheryl: Larry, what is in your nose?
Larry: It's a tampon.

Larry: He's a Swede.
Funkhouser: He is? I was at his house for hanukkah.

Everybody's getting a chance to get divorced except me.

Jeff

I got a Swede lawyer?!? She's gonna get everything!

Larry

First of all, I commend you on the demographics. A Black, an Asian, and are you a Jew per chance?

Larry

Larry: Why don't you get a divorce?
Funkhouser: I'm too lazy.

Larry: Guy pulls up to me on a motorcycle. Guess who it turns out to be?
Jeff: Portia De Rossi.

Larry: Everything okay?
Kiera: I uhh think I just had my first period.

Kiera: Do you like girl scout cookies?
Larry: I find them abhorrent, but come in.

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