You wear that dress because you want people to look at your shoes, right?


A gay Jew in Nazi Germany. He must have had a hard time


Larry: They're not breasts; they're just big, chemical balls.
Richard: You can tell they're fake?
Larry: I can take a guess

Larry [on the pants tent]: Is it a bad thing? Maybe it's not such a bad thing, you know?
Cheryl: 'Cause you want people to think you constantly have an erection?
Larry: I dunno, is it a bad thing for me to walk around like that?
Cheryl: Yeah, it is. edit »

My wife tells her friend I'm looking for somebody to go to the movies with, so now I'm going to the the movies with my wife's friend, who I find really annoying


Larry: Excuse me. Is that a problem for you?
Sofia: Excuse me
Larry: Yeah, that's exactly right.
Sofia: Could you be a little bit nicer about it and just go by.
Larry: A little bit nicer, you make this big sigh, I'm just trying to get by
Sofia: Well I'm sitting here and you could enter the other way
Larry: Could you just move your legs?
Sofia: What are you doing? Are you looking at my breasts? You're looking at my breasts.
Larry: I'm not looking at your breasts, I'm trying to get to my seat.
Sofia: Announcing He's looking at my breasts
Larry: Yeah, your special breasts. Just excuse me please?
Sofia: Please just go by, without stepping on my foot!

Cheryl: How was the movie?
Larry: Oh, not bad. So, not quite sure how to tell you this but, I think your friend Nancy thinks she got me aroused in the movie.
Cheryl: Why would she think that?
Larry: Because of the tent in the pants, and she looked down

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