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Trick or treaters: It's Halloween, can we get some candy?
Larry: Yeah, it's Halloween but that doesn't mean you can go around to people's houses and bilk candy from them
- Permalink: It's Halloween, can we get some candy? Yeah, it's Halloween bu...
Walter [to Larry]: Are you Jewish?
Larry: You wanna check my penis?
- Permalink: Are you Jewish? You wanna check my penis?
Walter: You know what you are? You are a self loathing Jew.
Larry: I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish
- Permalink: You know what you are? You are a self loathing Jew. I do hate ...
I didn't know it was going to be felony-or-treatLarry
- Permalink: I didn't know it was going to be felony-or-treat
Larry: "Bald asshole?" That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a group.
Police Officer: I'm bald and I'm not offended.
Larry: With all due respect, Officer Berg, you are not bald. You've chosen to shave your hair and that's a look you're cultivating in order to look fashionable, but we don't really consider you part of the bald community... with all due respect
- Permalink: Bald asshole? That's a hate crime. We consider ourselves to be a...
Larry: I think I am just going to get a Cobb Salad. I'd like to make a few substitutions, if that's OK. I'll get... no bacon. No eggs. Bleu cheese on the side.
Cliff Cobb: Are you sure you want a Cobb Salad? Do you do that every time you order that salad?
Larry: Do you have a problem with it?
Cliff Cobb: It's my grandfather's salad. I'm a Cobb of Cobb salad fame.
Larry: I think that this is a real bullshit story
- Permalink: I think I am just going to get a Cobb Salad. I'd like to make a ...