Curb Your Enthusiasm

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes (Page 5)

Season 8 Episode 2: "The Safe House"

Larry: I have no problem with crying in a grocery store. I would suggest, however, the next time you feel overwhelmed by something, to go to a different section.
 • Rating: Unrated

Woman: Do you want to apologize to my dog? Because you really yelled at my dog.
Larry: Yeah, it's very hard to apologize to a dog because they're a stupid animal.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Larry: I don't know where you were living before, but I think this would probably be a step up. You hit the jackpot with this place, huh?
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: She was upset? Her dog pooped all over my yard, three times.
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: I could be a burlesque dermatologist.
 • Rating: Unrated

Richard: How did you see a small mole from where you were sitting?
Larry: Well I have breast vision.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stella: It sounds like you appreciate the art form.
Larry: Well I appreciate naked women.
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: You called me old? You're two days older than I am.
 • Rating: Unrated

Funkhouser: We ought to do this more often.
Larry: Come to disgusting strip clubs?
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: The dog without the bag, it's incomplete. It's a marriage.
 • Rating: Unrated

Funkhouser: Have you set a day aside when you're gonna finally look at her face?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Richard: A lot of people call me who are suicidal.
Larry: I don't think you'd be my suicide call.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 8 Episode 1: "The Divorce"

Cheryl: Larry, what is in your nose?
Larry: It's a tampon.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Larry: He's a Swede.
Funkhouser: He is? I was at his house for hanukkah.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jeff: Everybody's getting a chance to get divorced except me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Larry: I got a Swede lawyer?!? She's gonna get everything!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Larry: First of all, I commend you on the demographics. A Black, an Asian, and are you a Jew per chance?
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: Why don't you get a divorce?
Funkhouser: I'm too lazy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: Guy pulls up to me on a motorcycle. Guess who it turns out to be?
Jeff: Portia De Rossi.
 • Rating: Unrated

Larry: Everything okay?
Kiera: I uhh think I just had my first period.
 • Rating: Unrated

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