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(Susan sees Dr. Ron walking out of the house)
Susan: Where is he going?
Karl: Uh, we've got a bit of a plumbing emergency.
Susan: So you sent him over to Mike's?!

Veronica (to Lynette): Did you know that breast milk is thought to raise IQ scores?
They look at the daycare room and see Donovan painting quietly on the floor, while the Scavo boys are yelling and hitting each other and making a mess
Veronica: Yeah, maybe if you'd weaned your kids a bit later, they'd be more civilized.
Lynette: Ouch.

Gabrielle: No. No, no, no. I want that woman's baby, and I'm gonna get it!
Carlos: And just how are you gonna go about doing that?
Gabrielle: Well, first of all, I'm gonna show her one of our tax returns. Once she sees how much money we have, I have a hunch we're gonna look a whole lot whiter!

Veronica: If that's not bad enough, now I'm gonna get fat again.
Lynette: Huh?
Veronica: Breast-feeding was the only thing that kept the weight off. Every mealtime was like doing thirty minutes of cardio. Now I'm gonna have to join a gym!
Lynette: Wow, that is really a bummer.
Veronica: It is. It really is.

Bree: Tonight was a very unusual situation. I wish you could've known me when Rex was alive and my kids were young and everything was the way it was supposed to be. I think you really would've liked me so much.
Peter: I like you just fine.
Bree: Really? Because I don't.

Peter: Your son threatened you with repressed memories? Oh, my god, he is seriously twisted. I gotta meet this kid.
Bree: You sound like you're impressed.
Peter: I sorta am. Sounds like you're definitely raising an alpha male.
Bree: I'm raising a monster is what I'm raising. It's no wonder I drink.

Bree: Well, I'm still appalled that you're helping my son with this ridiculous emancipation scheme, but you are a guest in my house and guests get sandwiches.
Andrew: You know, if you'd let me go to his office, you wouldn't have to pretend to be nice to him.
Bree: Andrew, there may be a judge out there stupid enough to emancipate you, but until you find him, I retain all my parental rights. One of which is to ground your sorry behind until kingdom come. Mr. Bormanis, nice to see you again, and, um, please don't get crumbs on my carpet.

Bree: Is this Libby's real hair color?
Gabrielle: Yes, it's all natural, from her straight teeth to her C cup. And I know she's athletic because she's a pole dancer, so I really hope that my little girl inherits that as well. No, the athletic gene, not the pole dancing gene.

Gabrielle: These can't be our only choices, Mr. Beale, I mean, come on! Each girl is uglier than the next!
Beale: Look, finding a gorgeous pregnant woman who is willing to give her baby to a couple with a criminal record isn't exactly a walk in the park.

Gabrielle: Okay, look, we have to find another mother.
Carlos: Why?
Gabrielle: Okay, this isn't easy to say, so I'm just going to say it, but have you taken a good look at her?
Carlos: Oh my god, are you trying to say that you don't want Deanna's baby because she's plain?
Gabrielle: No! Plain I can handle - Carlos, since that woman has walked into our house the clocks have stopped working!
Carlos: No one can predict what a child is going to look like. For all you know, her kid could end up winning beauty contests.
Gabrielle: With her DNA? The only thing that kid's going to be winning is best in show.

Mary Alice: (opening voiceover) Gabrielle Solis had always been a demanding shopper.
(Gabrielle is looking out the front window, watching a car pull up)
Gabrielle: Carlos! Come on, they're here!
Mary Alice: (continuing voiceover) And whatever the purchase, she always expected the very best - whether it was exotic perfume shipped over from Paris, a high fashion gown straight from a runway in Milan, or designer shoes flown in from Manhattan. But on this day, her expectations were going to be put to the test - you see, Gabrielle was now shopping for a baby, and there was a problem with the manufacturer. (Gabrielle opens the door to a very scary looking girl)

Susan: So, you ran out of strangers to beat up on the street and you're going from house to house now?
Mike: I feel really awful about what happened.
Susan: You don't wanna be my boyfriend? Fine. Don't beat up the only guy who wants to volunteer for the job.
Mike: Look, I know I overreacted but come on, the way he was yelling at you?
Susan: I deserved it believe me, after what I did. God, this is such a mess, he won't even return my phone calls.
Mike: What did you do?
Susan: I said something to Dr. Ron before the operation and it just devastated him.
Mike: What?
Susan: I can't tell you.
Mike: Yeah, you can tell me anything you know that. (They are interrupted by a phone call) You wanna talk about this later?
Susan: No. No, not really. What's the point?

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 25 in total

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Episode 17 Quotes

(Susan sees Dr. Ron walking out of the house)
Susan: Where is he going?
Karl: Uh, we've got a bit of a plumbing emergency.
Susan: So you sent him over to Mike's?!

Susan: So, you ran out of strangers to beat up on the street and you're going from house to house now?
Mike: I feel really awful about what happened.
Susan: You don't wanna be my boyfriend? Fine. Don't beat up the only guy who wants to volunteer for the job.
Mike: Look, I know I overreacted but come on, the way he was yelling at you?
Susan: I deserved it believe me, after what I did. God, this is such a mess, he won't even return my phone calls.
Mike: What did you do?
Susan: I said something to Dr. Ron before the operation and it just devastated him.
Mike: What?
Susan: I can't tell you.
Mike: Yeah, you can tell me anything you know that. (They are interrupted by a phone call) You wanna talk about this later?
Susan: No. No, not really. What's the point?