Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives "Don't Look at Me" Quotes

Susan: Edie's not a slut. She's just popular with indiscriminate men.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Karl: Susie, Susie!
Susan: Our marriage was garbage! Stupid, disgusting pile of garbage!
Karl: No, no, don't say that.
Susan: And I regret everything that came of it!
Karl: Don't do this right now.
Susan: Ugh! (to Julie) Except you, honey. You're my rock. (to Karl) Ooh, out! Get out!
Karl: I promise you I'm gonna break up with Edie and make this right. I'll call you when it's done.
Susan: Don't bother! I won't pick up.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Eleanor: (stuttering) ...This is pornography for homosexuals!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carlos: My mama worked her fingers to the bone for me!
Gabrielle: That's what put her in an early grave! (long pause) Well that and the hit and run thing...
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mike: So how did the two of you meet?
Orson: Oh well I've been her dentist for years... last week i was looking in her mouth and decided to put my tongue in it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Parker: I don't believe you.
Lynette: Parker I'm your mother! Mothers don't lie to their sons! Now, go wash your hands or Santa's not going to bring you anything for Christmas.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Eleanor: Excuse me, he has a magazine titled 'Leather Daddies In Love', that does not sound like a phase to me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mrs. McCluskey: (while eating a Fudgsicle) Parker offered me a Fudgsicle if I would show him my vagina.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bree: Those were some kick a** peanut butter cookies!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Andrew: Well could you live with a woman who hits you.
Elenor: Bree!
Bree: I slapped him once and he deserved it!
Andrew: I just asked her to stop drinking.
Grandpa: (to Bree) You were drinking?
Elenor: She's in AA. Her sponsor has long hair.
Bree: Andrew, I find your concern ironic giving how tanked you were when you ran over our neighbours mother with your car.
Elenor: Is she OK?
Bree: She's dead.
Andrew: Well, mom watched as her boyfriend commited suicide. And he was the same guy who killed dad.
Bree: Andrew falsely accused me of mollestation ... in a mall!
Grandpa: You know the technique works better if you don't talk right away.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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