Mrs. Pate: Yesterday afternoon, Parker offered a cookie to Cindy Lou Peeples if she would show him her vagina.
Lynette: What kind of cookie?
Mrs. Pate: What does that matter?
Lynette: Oh, it doesn't. I'm just stalling because I am completely mortified.

Paul: These little mind games are going to stop, right now!
Felicia: And if they don't, what are going to do? Blow your brains out, like your wife did?

Felicia: Paul? I was making cookies and I heard the most sickening thud. Are you okay?
Paul: There's shortening on my doorstep.
Felicia: Shortening? That's the last thing you'd want on your front porch. It's meant for baking.

Eleanor: It took me a week to forgive Esperanza.
Henry: Now she's like family again.
Eleanor: Family who stole from us.

Louisa Pate believed in the power of shame. As a teacher, she had found the best way to control unruly students was to instill a strong sense of shame in their parents. Of course, Mrs. Pate also knew that when it came to unruly children, some parents had more reason to be ashamed than others. Yes, Louisa Pate believed in the power of shame. She also believed when someone has that power, it's a shame not to use it.

Mary Alice

(voiceover) We've all done something in our lives we're ashamed of. Some of us have fallen for the wrong man. (Shot of Karl standing on Susan's porch in his boxers.) Some have let go of the right woman. (Shot of Mike and his date at the movie theatre) There are those who have humiliated their parents (Shot of Parker playing with a puppy) And those who have failed their children (Shot of Gabrielle watching Lily sleep) Yes, we've all made mistakes that diminish us and those we love. (Shot of Bree bringing out a pie to the table) But there is redemption if we try to learn from those mistakes and grow. (Bree cuts the pie while Andrew and Justin play cards)

Mary Alice

Susan: Thank you so much for helping me out.
Orson: Hey, I'm great in a crisis.
Susan: Well, I definitely picked the right person to sit next to, actually, is this seat taken?
Orson: No.
Susan: Okay. You can share my popcorn.
(A lady sits next to Orson)
Orson: Um Susan, this is Becky, I'll probably be sharing her popcorn.
Susan: I'll just wait till the lights go out, and then I'll go.

Eleanor: Hello, I'm Eleanor Mason, Bree's stepmother. You're the lawyer? We should talk
Peter: Ah, no, I'm not her lawyer
Eleanor: Good, the hair had me worried!

Andrew: Well could you live with a woman who hits you.
Elenor: Bree!
Bree: I slapped him once and he deserved it!
Andrew: I just asked her to stop drinking.
Grandpa: (to Bree) You were drinking?
Elenor: She's in AA. Her sponsor has long hair.
Bree: Andrew, I find your concern ironic giving how tanked you were when you ran over our neighbours mother with your car.
Elenor: Is she OK?
Bree: She's dead.
Andrew: Well, mom watched as her boyfriend commited suicide. And he was the same guy who killed dad.
Bree: Andrew falsely accused me of mollestation ... in a mall!
Grandpa: You know the technique works better if you don't talk right away.

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