Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives

Sundays 9:00 PM on ABC

Latest Review

Desperate Housewives "God, That's Good" Quotes

Russell catches Edie and Carlos in bed together.
Russell: Well, I see you can't close a sale without opening something else.
Edie: Oh, please, I heard about your open house on Holly Drive, they're still disinfecting the Jacuzzi.
Russell: Slut!
Edie: Bitch!
 • Rating: Unrated
(Lights are out)
Susan: You know, I don't believe we need a flashlight, my eyes have totally adjusted for the dark.
(sound of glass breaking)
Ian: What was that?
Susan: Don't walk in the kitchen!
 • Rating: Unrated
(Mike walks into Carlos' room, Edie is hiding next to the door)
Mike: (whispering) So uh... you got a girl in here?
Carlos: No, why?
Mike: Because when I came home, I thought I heard sex noises.
Carlos: (laughing) Nah, that was just me.
 • Rating: Unrated
(Gabrielle and Victor are stuck in an elevator, Gabrielle starting to undress Victor)
Victor: Come on, cut it out, the power could come on at any moment.
Gabrielle: I know, that's what makes it so exciting, the risk.
Victor: But I, I'm kinda running for mayor here, remember?
Gabrielle: It's an elevator, silly, it has an emergency stop button... I don't.
 • Rating: Unrated
Victor: I want you to organize a press conference and then I want you to help me prep for it.
Assistant: This is gonna be a bloodbath, I don't know how you're gonna prep.
Victor: Just give me a bucket of piranhas, I'll stick my head in it.
 • Rating: Unrated
Police Officer: Ma'am, are you Karen McCluskey?
Mrs. McCluskey: Little bastard gave me up, didn't he?
 • Rating: Unrated
Victor: Are you insane? We're in an elevator.
Gabrielle: Exactly! Going down...
 • Rating: Unrated
Mrs. McCluskey: I don't really need to go the hospital. I'm fine.
Blond Man: You've fractured a rib and you might have a concussion. You need looking after.
Mrs. McCluskey: Some of the stuff in my freezer might melt. How about I just run out and get some ice and then meet you at the hospital.
Blond Man: Ma'm, you can replace groceries.
Mrs. McCluskey: You don't understand, some of my groceries have sentimental value.
Blond Man: Sorry.
Mrs. McCluskey: Well, I don't need to ask your permission.
Blond Man: Ma'm, no!
Mrs. McCluskey: Get your hands of me, you pig ape!
Blond Man: Get the restraints
Mrs. McCluskey: I'm gonna sue your ass.
(The power and the lights go back on)
Mrs. McCluskey: Well, what are we waiting for? Get me to the hospital, I'm not a well woman.
 • Rating: Unrated
(Maggie is talking to Susan about wedding cakes)
Maggie: So, which one do you like the best?
(Instead of the cakes, Susan eyes Ian and Mike)
Susan: Wow. It's kinda hard to decide.
Maggie: Well, that depends on what you are looking for. Rich and elegant? Or down to earth and sweet?
Susan: I don't know.
Mike: You wanna taste them again?
Susan: No! I know what they taste like! I'm just torn, okay?
Ian: There's no reason to get upset. It's just a cake.
Susan: It's not just a cake! It's a major decision!
Maggie: Well, hey, if you like them both so much why don't you just have two cakes?
Susan:(speaking in a high pitch voice)
How would that look? Oh, hey, everybody! Here's my wedding cake! Oh, and what's that over there? That's my other wedding cake! I have to pick and I will! So just stop pressuring me okay?!
 • Rating: Unrated
Carlos: Hey, I didn't say we had to stop. I just said we had to be quiet.
Edie: What? I suppose we should tiptoe around like schoolchildren so our parents don't catch us doing it? I feel like I'm 12 again.
Carlos: I'm just saying, I don't think that the whole world needs to know our..(Realizing what Edie just said) 12?
 • Rating: Unrated

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Total Quotes: 14
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