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And some people kiss their friends, it's like a high-five on the lips!

Gabrielle [to Ashley, about kissing]

Rex: So these tennis lessons we're taking. How are we doing?
Bree: My back hand is improving immensely, but you're still having problems with your serve.
Rex: Of course

Zach: Maybe when you die, I won't put in an obituary.
Paul: That will be your choice to make. Assuming you outlive me

Susan: You can afford a cabin but you can't scrape up child support?
Karl: The check's in the mail.
Susan: Uh...[checks mailbox] No, it's not

After I died, I began to surrender the parts of myself that were no longer necessary. My desires, beliefs, ambitions, doubts, every trace of my humanity was discarded. I discovered when moving through eternity, it helps to travel lightly. In fact, I held onto only one thing. My memory. It's astonishing to look back on the world I left behind. I remember it all, every single detail. Like my friend, Bree Van De Kamp, I remember the easy confidence of her smile, the gentle elegance of her hands, the refined warmth of her voice, but what I remember most about Bree, is the look of fear in her eyes Bree had started to realize her world was unraveling, and for a woman who despised loose ends, that was unacceptable

Mary Alice

Susan: You know what? I don't need an apology! I don't need anything from you!
Karl: You're humiliating yourself!
Susan: No, you're the one who's been humiliated, Karl. Why don't you see that? You walked out on your family! People think you're scum, not me! So worry about yourself! I'm okay with me! I can walk down the street and hold my head high!

Susan: Thanks for helping me break in. Do you think it's gonna be hard to replace that screen?
Mike: Well that depends. Nail it in yourself, you might wanna wear gloves. Or pants. Pants wouldn't hurt.
Susan: Okay. I know what just happened is funny, in theory, but I am nowhere near ready to laugh about it. So please, no jokes.
Bree: Hey, where've you been?
Mike: Um, Susan had a problem finding something to wear. Oh, was that the kinda thing you meant?
Susan: Pretty much

Karl: The heart wants what it wants.
Susan: Well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I can control myself!

Susan: Listen, Mike, about the whole "seeing me naked" thing. I just wanna thank you for being such a perfect gentleman.
Mike: Oh, I wasn't a prefect gentleman, I might've snuck a peek.
Susan: Oh, goodnight.
Mike: And for what it's worth, wow

Bree: Rex. In college, when we first started dating, people were so jealous of us. We were the golden couple. Everybody knew we were going to have this wonderful life. Why is this happening?
Rex: Because you won't even let me pack my own suitcase

Displaying all 10 quotes

Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 3 Quotes

Susan: Listen, Mike, about the whole "seeing me naked" thing. I just wanna thank you for being such a perfect gentleman.
Mike: Oh, I wasn't a prefect gentleman, I might've snuck a peek.
Susan: Oh, goodnight.
Mike: And for what it's worth, wow

Bree: Rex. In college, when we first started dating, people were so jealous of us. We were the golden couple. Everybody knew we were going to have this wonderful life. Why is this happening?
Rex: Because you won't even let me pack my own suitcase