Julie: How am I supposed to blend in with a bunch of messed up teenagers?
Susan: I dunno, pretend you're bulimic, gag a little

Susan: How'd you get the fat lip?
Paul: The usual way; asking too many questions

Juanita may have been the gambler in the family, but Gabrielle was the one who knew how to bluff

Mary Alice

Bree: Is that how you see me? As some sort of prude who just lays there like a cold fish? I love sex.
Dr. Goldfine: All right.
Bree: I love everything about it. The sensations, the smells. I especially love the feel of a man. All that muscle and sinew pressed against my body. And then, when you add friction. Mmm ... The tactile sensation of running my tongue over a man's nipple ever so gently. And then there's the act itself - two bodies becoming one in that final eruption of pleasure. To be honest, the only thing I don't like about sex is the scrotum. I mean, obviously it has its practical applications, but I'm just not a fan

Lynette: Seriously, you're taking your kids' medication?
Jordana: Once in a while. Do you want a couple?
Lynette: Oh, that's very kind of you, but I just smoked some crack a little while ago, so I better not mix.

Gabrielle: Yeah, I've seen who you've been busy with.
John: Danielle? Come on, I mean, she's just a friend.
Gabrielle: Well, before you get any friendlier, let me remind you, I can do things to you she can't even pronounce

Suburbia is a battleground, an arena for all forms of domestic combat. Husbands clash with wives, parents cross swords with children, but the bloodiest battles often involve women and their mothers-in-law. The war for control of Carlos began the night he proposed, and Gabrielle had been losing ground to Juanita ever since. From the prenuptial agreement which she reluctantly signed, to the selection of wedding music she despised, the color of the house paint she hadn't wanted ... Gabrielle had suffered one defeat after another

Mary Alice

Dr. Sicher: Severe depression. Borderline personality disorder. Zach is a deeply troubled young man.
Paul: I'm aware of that. What are you giving him?
Dr. Sicher: Some antidepressants and a mood stabilizer.
Paul: Good.
Dr. Sicher: I'm also recommending extensive psychotherapy, to help unearth any repressed -
Paul: I don't think so.
Dr. Sicher: Mr. Young, I can't just medicate him indefinitely.
Paul: Forget the Freud and stick with the drugs. No new treatments without my permission

Carlos: Hmmmm... that's nice.
Gabrielle: You like that?
Carlos: Oh, yeah.
Gabrielle: God, I'm gonna miss this, Carlos.
Carlos: What do you mean?
Gabrielle: Well, since, I'm gonna have to be doing the cooking, and the cleaning, and all the shopping, like the other wives...
Carlos: Hmmm, hmmm.
Gabrielle: I'm going to be exhausted at night, just like all the other wives, til I build up my stamina, of course, but that might take a couple of years

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