Gabrielle: Susan, hi. Do you want to help with the seating cards?
Susan: Sure. Do you want to tell me why you had your foot in John Rowland's crotch yesterday?
Gabrielle: Oh, that. He was helping me adjust the seam in my stocking, and from your angle, it must have looked a little weird.
Susan: You're sleeping with him, aren't you?

Gabrielle: I'm the one who was sleeping your son. I'm so sorry.
Helen: So when it started, he was sixteen?
Gabrielle: But Helen you have to believe me, it's over now.
Helen: Oh no, it's not even close to being over

Edie: Crap! Crap! Crap! I'm telling you, all of the good dresses are taken. Well, what the hell am I supposed to wear?
Lynette: Well, Mrs. Huber never showed up. Why don't you wear this one?
Edie: This is an old lady dress. You won't even be able to see my body.
Lynette: That is so like you, Edie. You're always thinking of others

Bree: Hi Danielle. How was school?
Danielle: It was ok.
Bree: Good. Where does Andrew keep his marijuana?

Bree: Well, that's because you just don't love him as much as I do!
Rex: Well, isn't that nice.
Bree: It's just a fact. I'm his mother. He lived inside of me.
Rex: He hung out in your womb for a few months back in the 80s. Since then, I have grown to love him just as much as you!

Gabrielle: Edie, what did you do to that dress?
Edie: Well, I made it audience friendly. Can you tell I'm not wearing any underwear?
Gabrielle: Yes!
Edie: Good

Bree: Well I know that good help is hard to find but stealing a family's nanny is so unseemly!
Lynette: I'm not twisting anyone's arm. If I make a better offer, than why shouldn't a qualified person weave the benefits. So come on. Where can I score some high-grade nanny?

News of the fashion show spread quickly on Wisteria Lane. Though the event was for charity, Gabrielle soon discovered that when it came to the latest fashions, women are seldom charitable. No one knew this better than Edie Britt. She understood that treachery never goes out of style

Mary Alice

Bree: It's just not right.
Rex: What?
Bree: A woman is in a coma, because of Andrew. And there he is, happy as a clam!
Rex: Well, we grounded him, we took away the TV in his room. How many more ways do you want to punish him

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