(to Andrew) I liked you better when you were a psychopath!

Danielle

Bree: So we're back to being friends?
Susan: We never really stopped.

I think what my husband is trying to say is, if you really want to test a marriage, open a restaurant together. Anyway, thank you for coming. Eat a lot and come back, 'cause our kids need braces.

Lynette

Thank you. Thank you for coming. It means everything in the world to me. I gotta tell you, when I arrived here this afternoon, I saw all these weird chairs, I thought the evening was gonna be a total disaster. But now when I look out, I can't even see the chairs. I just see people eating, laughing and having a great time. It's absolutely perfect. And none of this would've happened without my amazing partner Lynette. Who, uh...To...I'm sorry. I'm a little...

Tom

Lynette: Okay, okay, we could point fingers, but what's important is forgetting about what we expected, and focusing on what we have, which isn't so bad. I mean, all the different kinds of chairs give the place a kind of bohemian vibe. Plus, if we get a lot of babies, look, we're just totally set. Tom, I'm sorry. I am. I'm sorry. I just, I realize it's not perfect. But...please say something.
Tom: What can I say, Lynette? It is what it is.

(narrating) The first light of sunrise. The sound of the cat purring. The smell of fresh coffee. Yes, there are many things a housewife likes to wake up to. But an unexpected guest in her bed.. is not one of them.

Mary Alice

Oh Bree. I wish I could make you understand how deeply I regret having to do this. Monique, that was easy, she was a slut. You're a good woman. You didn't know Orson already had a wife, but he did and he made a vow to her before God. What sort of mother would I be if I let him break it? I'm sorry but I will not let him be his father's son.

Gloria

Eat alot and come back. 'Cos our kids need braces.

Lynette

(narrating) Orson Hodge had always assumed that the moment before he died, his entire life would flash before his eyes. But as he fell from the roof of the Fairview Memorial Hospital, it wasn't his life he saw. It was one night in particular (flashback to the night Monique Polier got killed). Yes, Orson Hodge had always assumed that his life would flash before his eyes the moment before he died. Luckily for Orson, that moment was not scheduled for today.

Mary Alice

Heeelloo! I think it's high time to make a toast. Ehm, Tom, where are you? (looks around) You did it. There are a lot of people in this room that didn't think you could pull it off. Okey, well, maybe just me (everybody laughs). Anyway, congratulations. The pizza is excellent, and the service is sublime (Edie nods to Austin). Cheers!

Edie

Zach: I know that you're mad.
Gabrielle: I'm not mad, Zach. I'm done.
Zach: But you said to be honest.
Gabrielle: I did not say to humiliate me!
Zach: I'm sorry. All right? I was just trying...what do you want from me?
Gabrielle: I want you to leave me alone! This friends thing isn't gonna work 'cause you're always gonna want more, and I'm never gonna love you...ever.
Zach: Twenty years from now when you're all middle-aged and alone, you'll regret this.
Gabrielle: Okay, I'll take my chances.

Lynette: You're acting like I did when I was six months pregnant.
Tom: Excuse me, you were hitting people.
Lynette: Only two, and the mailman had the good taste never to bring that up again.

Desperate Housewives Season 3 Episode 15 Quotes

Bree: So we're back to being friends?
Susan: We never really stopped.

(to Andrew) I liked you better when you were a psychopath!

Danielle