Trust me, Cheech, this is oregano. The only thing getting baked with that herb is lasagna.

Carlos

If this ends badly, I will never forgive you. I mean it, Gabrielle—we're done!

Carlos

Nobody steals a man out of my bed. But you know what? I've been looking for a new hobby, and taking you down is as good as any.

Renee

Do you think I should play the I-hate-going-into-a-dark-house-alone card? Or the more blatant I'm-not-wearing-underwear? Because I'm not.

Renee

Clearly everyone hooked up early so they could be home in time for Nightline.

Renee

I've never seen so many sweater sets—are you sure this is a closet and not a portal to the 1950s?

Renee

Bree: Hey there, I'm ready to party!
Renee: Because you look like you're ready to tour the Reagan Library!

Bree: He's got a girlfriend.
Renee: If I don't see her, she doesn't exist.

The only reason I didn't smoke in college was because I signed the abstinence pledge of my Dungeons and Dragons club.

Tom
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