Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives Quotes (Page 2)

Episode 7: "Always in Control"

Renee: She may have gone to the school with the wicked witch, but you went to school with me?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gaby: When is the last time you brushed your... is this a lollipop?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gaby: Which one is the salad fork?
Juanita: What's salad?
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 6: "Witch's Lament"

Bree: We just need to do this in the most efficient manner possible. Find the grave, dig up the body, wrap it in a tarp, weigh it down with some bricks, and toss it into the lake. I have all of the supplies in my trunk, along with clean towels, hand sanitizers, and breathing masks... in case the stench is overwhelming.
 • Rating: Unrated

Renee: Let's find something fun-size for me to enjoy.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lynette: This one kept knocking me up so I won't get to be nostalgic until I'm 90.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary Alice: Paranoia reminds you that no place is truly safe.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 5: "The Art of Making Art"

Mary Alice: Yes, we may think we're all destined to play certain roles, but sometimes those roles can unexpectedly change: a nervous student may discover a hidden confidence; a long time wife may confront a harsh reality; a busy mother may find her attention needed elsewhere; and a woman who wanted to do a little bit of good may be finding herself playing a much bigger role than she intended.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lynette: I thought you had a date with Ben.
Renee: He cancelled again. Some stupid real estate project for the poor. Bastard.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susan: Perfect! My best gay. Who else better to practice on? Good morning, Lee!
Lee: This is Bob's mother. OH MY GOD!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lynette: Let the dating begin.
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 4: "School of Hard Knocks"

Mary Alice: Yes, we often learn our most important lessons outside the classroom. The painful truth about the state of a relationship, the ugly cost of challenging authority, the sad fact that life's colors aren't always rosy, then are those who refuse to accept these important lessons. They simply wait to teach a lesson of their own.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Bree: Now, go pack up your sex factory and I will bake us some cookies.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gaby: I'd stay and say hi but that would involve a lot of listening and sad nodding.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Renee: I've got a new book title for you - "Your Husband's Banging Somebody."
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Gaby: You slow down. Push the kid out and drive off. Why is it so hard?
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 3: "Watch While I Revise the World"

Renee to Gaby: You can tell me because I'm beautiful.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lee: I take back everything I said about you being an insensitive bitch.
Renee: You never said that.
Lee: Don't open your email.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lee: I could be a girl. I could totally be a girl.
Renee: Well, you got the voice down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lynette: You can't marry that sunflower seed.
 • Rating: Unrated

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