I'm always getting my Mexicans confused, which I'm allowed to do because I'm Mexican.


It isn't easy giving up power admitting that we might need help from friends and neighbors, deciding that a loved one might know what's best for us, giving up our better judgment for a slightly darker agenda, but for some the hardest kind of power to give up is the power to control their own desires.

Mary Alice

Your ex kept secrets to hurt you. I'm keeping a secret to protect you.


Lynette: Huh. That's weird.
Tom: What?
Lynette: I have an "Isn't that Ironic?" app that usually buzzes when people say stuff like that.

My husband's an alcoholic so I can only drink at work.


In life we all make plans, but sometimes they don't turn out the way we expected. By trying to help out, we may damage a relationship. By attempting to reach out, we may push someone further away. By digging into the past, we may enrich our present.

Mary Alice

Gaby: You can't dress for church if you want to move the 'merch. You gotta shake the rear to make them buy the gear. You wanna sell some knits, you gotta flash the...
Carlos: Gaby! I got it.

This baby's working on her black belt.


Lynette: You tidied up the dead guy?
Bree: I felt it was respectful at the time.

She also has the right to remain horny.



Andrew: Don't you just wanna eat her up?
Bree: Not before I take a picture of her!

When we see an opportunity in life, we have to take it. Whether it's the hope of winning back the love of our life, a shot at proving our worth, or the chance to show a child the right path, but sometimes when we answer the call we have no idea what opportunity awaits us.

Mary Alice

Desperate Housewives Quotes

Bree Van de Kamp had a weekly routine she'd been following for years. She cleaned on Tuesdays. She paid her bills on Wednesdays. She did her laundry on Thursdays. And after these daily chores were completed, she would reward herself with a little drink. What Bree didn't know was this latest addition to her routine had been noticed by her friends. And it had now become part of their routine to discuss it.

Mary Alice

I love you once. I love you twice. I love you more than beans and rice.