Lynette: I must have been crazy, agreeing to this.
Tom: Honey, you're gonna feel differently once you meet Kayla. She is sweet, smart little girl, plus it'll help you get past your resentment of Nora.
Lynette: I don't..Well, here goes.

This is the street where I used to live and these were the people with whom I shared my life. I met them the day they moved in. And I saw what they brought with them. Beautiful dreams for the future. And quiet hopes for a better life. Not just for themselves, but for their children, too. If I could, would I tell them what lies ahead? Would I warn them of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store? No. From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled. The trip is to keep moving forward, to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon. Yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn't see coming, but that's really the point. Don't you think?

Mary Alice

Xiao-mei: Here, taste this.
Carlos: Oh, man! Xiao-mei, that is amazing.
Xiao-mei: You like?
Carlos: Oh, yeah. Sorry if I'm making a mess.
Xiao-mei: It's okay. Mu Shu Pork. Supposed to be messy.
Carlos:I wish Gabrielle could cook like this. Have you ever tried her enchiladas?
Xiao-mei:One time they make me sick.

(flashback scene at the pharmacy Bree is having a conversation with Rex and involves the pharmacist)
George Williams: My mother took a firm hand with me and I thank her
for it.
Bree: Exactly! And look how well you turned out. (huge smile)

Psychiatrist: I'm sorry. I don't mean to be flip, but you came here because you were troubled, and then you refuse any help we give you.
Bree: Things were falling apart at home, and I just...I just needed a place to rest, that's all.
Psychiatrist: I think there's more to it than that.
Bree: Do you?
Psychiatrist: I think it has to do with your kids. You don't want to talk about them. Why is that?
Bree: Probably because I'm ashamed.

Danielle: See, I told you she wasn't home. Her car's not even here.
Mathew: And you said the safe was upstairs?
Danielle: Damn it, my mother must have changed the combination.
Matthew: Okay. Wait here. I'll be right back.

Susan: I've got everything ready to go-- flowers, candles, Elvis Costello CD all cued up.
Gabrielle: But who has the ring?
Susan:He does.
Gabrielle: So, wait, you're gonna get down on one knee, pop the question, and while you're down there, dig in his pocket?
Lynette: What if you pull out his key chain?
Susan: Then I'm gonna have to find a way to force it on my finger.

Betty: I would have protected you.
Matthew: Well, I really couldn't count on that.
Betty: Matthew...
Matthew: You don't love me as much as you love Caleb. You never have.
Betty: Perhaps. But it's because he's needed me more. You are always going to find love in the world. Don't you understand? He was only ever going to get it from me.
Matthew: You know, I know you believe that. That's why I've tried so hard to forgive you. And who knows? Maybe one day I will.
(Betty goes to the phone and dials 911)
Operator: 911. What's your emergency?
Betty: I need the police.

Bree: Have they rung up your prescription yet?
Rex: No, they're getting it right now.
Bree: Good, add that on.
Rex: You're dying your hair honey wheat blond?
Bree: Oh, it's not for me, it's for Danielle. That hair is going back to the color god intended.
Rex: You actually think she's gonna sit still as you towel this through her hair?
Bree: Oh, I will tie her down if necessary. I'm also thinking of checking her body for piercings while I'm at it.

Danielle: Can we please get out of here? This place is gross. And, god, I'm starving.
Matthew: Yeah, I know, but we don't have any money, remember?
Danielle: That's why we should go to my house. I know the combination to my mom's safe.
Matthew: Okay, I've told you a thousand times, it's way too risky. No.
Danielle: Something you should know before we embark on this little adventure. I can get pretty bitchy when I'm not fed.

Mike: You know, I had the feeling when I first saw you in the movie theater that we'd met before.
Orson: I don't think so.
Mike: Oh, I'm pretty sure. I think I know you. Any chance I was one of your guinea pigs?
Orson: No, the only prison work I did was back in Virginia.
Mike: Diploma says you graduated from Minnesota.
Orson: I'm licensed in three states. Open wide, please. Don't talk. I wouldn't want to hurt you.

Lynette: I don't see another way to make this work. We've gotta dip into the pensions.
Tom: Oh, I don't like the sound of that.
Lynette: Well, it's that or the kids college fund. We'll write Nora one big check, and in return, she'll sign away her claim for the back child support. If we're lucky, she'll take the bird in the hand.
Tom: Okay, what are we talking about? How much?
Lynette: Well, we need to show her we're serious. $30,000.00?
Tom: Are you kidding? Thirty?
Lynette: If she takes you to court, we'll lose and end up paying 11 years of child support all at once. We could lose the house.

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes

(to Bree) You know, I don't even like redheads.

Peter

(to Susan) Who am I to cast stones? I mean heck... I didn't pass my nurses exam.... They didn't even ask me!

Nurse Heisel