Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 2 Episode 17: "Could I Leave You?"

Dr Ron: You committed insurance fraud??
Susan: Only in the legal sense....
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: I've read the Constitution, and it does not protect ugly people!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carlos: I want a child. Any child!
Gabrielle: Fine, just know that in a couple of days when that thing is born, you're gonna have to snuggle up with something with THAT face on it don't come crying to me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Anyway, here's my card and if you ever do have a problem and feel like talking give a call, ok?
Bree: I know you think I'm kidding myself but I'm not! I'm nothing like you people! I just don't have a compulsive personality.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: If I wanna catch flies all I have to do is call one of these girls. Trust me, the flies would follow.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carlos: He is gonna dump us as clients if you don't stop being so damn picky!
Gabrielle: We're gonna have to stare at this face for the next 18 years. I don't think now is the time to skimp on quality!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: (about Karl and Susan) Did he just call her "baby"?
Gabrielle: Yeah, when did THEY stop hating each other?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: Hello there. I thought you and your friend might like some snacks.
Andrew: He's my lawyer and this is privileged communication so get out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Libby: What's wrong?
Gabrielle: You never gave a crap that we're Mexican did you?
Libby: Not really.
Gabrielle: So why put me through this?
Libby: Because I thought if it look like you were gonna get my baby then you might be just a bit more generous.
Gabrielle: Wow! You're a lot smarter than I thought.
Libby: I'm smarter than everybody thinks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary Alice: (voiceover) At the precise moment when Dr. Hanson Mills was cutting another umbilical cord, other ties were being severed all over town. (A doctor severs an umblical cord from a newborn) Like the one between a child and a mother, who didn't want him to grow up so quickly (Shot of Veronica giving Donovan a juice box.) Or the one between a case of fine wine, and the housewife who hadn't wanted to admit she had a problem. (Shot of Bree placing her bottles of wine in a box for Goodwill.) Or between a woman and the boyfriend, who couldn't forgive her betrayal. (In the hospital, Dr. Ron talks on the phone to Susan.) The choice to separate from what we love is painful. (At the strip club, a man comes over to Libby.) The only thing worse, was when someone we trusted makes the choice for us. (The man is apparently the baby's father, who is doting on the baby. Libby does not seem pleased.)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mary Alice: (opening voiceover) Gabrielle Solis had always been a demanding shopper.
(Gabrielle is looking out the front window, watching a car pull up)
Gabrielle: Carlos! Come on, they're here!
Mary Alice: (continuing voiceover) And whatever the purchase, she always expected the very best - whether it was exotic perfume shipped over from Paris, a high fashion gown straight from a runway in Milan, or designer shoes flown in from Manhattan. But on this day, her expectations were going to be put to the test - you see, Gabrielle was now shopping for a baby, and there was a problem with the manufacturer. (Gabrielle opens the door to a very scary looking girl)
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: Okay, look, we have to find another mother.
Carlos: Why?
Gabrielle: Okay, this isn't easy to say, so I'm just going to say it, but have you taken a good look at her?
Carlos: Oh my god, are you trying to say that you don't want Deanna's baby because she's plain?
Gabrielle: No! Plain I can handle - Carlos, since that woman has walked into our house the clocks have stopped working!
Carlos: No one can predict what a child is going to look like. For all you know, her kid could end up winning beauty contests.
Gabrielle: With her DNA? The only thing that kid's going to be winning is best in show.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: These can't be our only choices, Mr. Beale, I mean, come on! Each girl is uglier than the next!
Beale: Look, finding a gorgeous pregnant woman who is willing to give her baby to a couple with a criminal record isn't exactly a walk in the park.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: Is this Libby's real hair color?
Gabrielle: Yes, it's all natural, from her straight teeth to her C cup. And I know she's athletic because she's a pole dancer, so I really hope that my little girl inherits that as well. No, the athletic gene, not the pole dancing gene.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: Well, I'm still appalled that you're helping my son with this ridiculous emancipation scheme, but you are a guest in my house and guests get sandwiches.
Andrew: You know, if you'd let me go to his office, you wouldn't have to pretend to be nice to him.
Bree: Andrew, there may be a judge out there stupid enough to emancipate you, but until you find him, I retain all my parental rights. One of which is to ground your sorry behind until kingdom come. Mr. Bormanis, nice to see you again, and, um, please don't get crumbs on my carpet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Your son threatened you with repressed memories? Oh, my god, he is seriously twisted. I gotta meet this kid.
Bree: You sound like you're impressed.
Peter: I sorta am. Sounds like you're definitely raising an alpha male.
Bree: I'm raising a monster is what I'm raising. It's no wonder I drink.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: Tonight was a very unusual situation. I wish you could've known me when Rex was alive and my kids were young and everything was the way it was supposed to be. I think you really would've liked me so much.
Peter: I like you just fine.
Bree: Really? Because I don't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica: If that's not bad enough, now I'm gonna get fat again.
Lynette: Huh?
Veronica: Breast-feeding was the only thing that kept the weight off. Every mealtime was like doing thirty minutes of cardio. Now I'm gonna have to join a gym!
Lynette: Wow, that is really a bummer.
Veronica: It is. It really is.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: No. No, no, no. I want that woman's baby, and I'm gonna get it!
Carlos: And just how are you gonna go about doing that?
Gabrielle: Well, first of all, I'm gonna show her one of our tax returns. Once she sees how much money we have, I have a hunch we're gonna look a whole lot whiter!
 • Rating: Unrated

Veronica (to Lynette): Did you know that breast milk is thought to raise IQ scores?
They look at the daycare room and see Donovan painting quietly on the floor, while the Scavo boys are yelling and hitting each other and making a mess
Veronica: Yeah, maybe if you'd weaned your kids a bit later, they'd be more civilized.
Lynette: Ouch.
 • Rating: Unrated

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