Susan: What's the catch?
Karl: There's no catch. It's yours, Susie. Yours and Julie's. No strings attached.
Susan: I can't accept this. I just I gotta get out of this mess on my own.
Karl: This is not charity. I owe you... for everything I've done over the years, for all the heartache I've inflicted on you. Consider it payback.
Julie: Mom! There's a pool and a jacuzzi!
Karl: At least no one can drive off with it while you're sleeping, huh?

Gabrielle: Well, Carlos, they had your name.
Carlos: Oh, no. poor Ralph.
Gabrielle: Oh! Why is your back all sweaty?
Carlos: I was working out on the treadmill.
Gabrielle: Barefoot?

Carlos: Hey, what are you doing?
Gabrielle: Trying to have sex with you.
Carlos: Now? Babe, it's kind of late.
Gabrielle: You don't wanna have sex with me? You always wanna have sex with me. You wanted to have sex with me an hour after your hernia operation.
Carlos: I'm a little preoccupied. A good man died today. Don't take it personally.

Bree: You let go of me right now!
Dr. Barr: Hey, hey! What's going on here?
Bree: I am trying to leave, and these morons won't let me. Do you know that you can be arrested for kidnapping and for detaining someone?!
Dr. Barr: Why do you need to leave?
Bree: Because my daughter is in danger.
Dr. Barr: Something happened at cheerleading camp?
Bree: Okay, there's no camp. That was a fib on my part. I found out that she ran away with a boy and the boy is a murderer.

We met Gabrielle Solis the day she moved to Wisteria Lane. We were all excited to get a glimpse of a successful New York model.

Mary Alice

Carlos: Hey, babe. Why you home so early?
Gabrielle: Oh, honey! Oh, you're not dead!
Carlos: Who said I was dead?
Garielle: The police. They called me.
Carlos: What are you talking about?
Gabrielle: Honey, they didn't know all the details, but a witness said that they saw you run into the carpool lane to pick up a lawn chair that had fallen off some truck, and then a bus hit you right in front of the road crew. Why aren't you at the road crew?

Zach: Well, you said all of this was gonna be mine, so when do I get it?!
Noah: Empire is a highfalutin word, but that's what I've built. Unfortunately, an empire can only be ruled by an iron fist and a strong gut. I wanted to give it to you, Zach,
but I'm starting to have my doubts about you.
Zach: So what? Are you cutting me off?
Noah: I don't have any use for weakness. Get out.
Noah: What, are you gonna kill me? Prove you're a tough guy? See? That's why I can't give you the keys to the kingdom, Kid. No balls.

Lynette: Hi.
Tom: Hi.
Mary Alice: Hi, uh, we just wanted to come welcome you to the neighborhood.
Bree: Um, but we could come back later.
Lynette: Yeah. No, wait. Actually, wait. This is perfect. You know why? Because we need some impartial judges.
Tom: Lynette...
Lynette: Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant-- begged you--and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed, even though it might derail your career.
You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular.
Tom: Lynette, we've just met these people.

I met Susan Mayer the day she moved to Wisteria Lane. She seemed so delightfully confident, I couldn't help but feel intimidated. That feeling... (shot of Susan falling down into the truck and locking herself up)... quickly passed.

Mary-Alice
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