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Everyone must choose the road they will take in life. And for a special few, that road would lead to Wisteria Lane. They all arrived the exact same way. Driving up in their overloaded trucks, bringing with them their expensive antiques and ordinary dreams. I remember the first moment I saw each of them. I met Susan Mayer the day she moved to Wisteria Lane. She seems so delightfully confident, I couldn't help but feel intimidated. That feeling quickly passed.

Mary Alice

Lynette: Let's suppose your husband begged you to get pregnant, begged you, and out of the goodness of your heart, you agreed, even though it might derail your career. You agreed to a baby. A baby, singular.
Tom: Lynette, we've just met these people.
Lynette: Then, then you go in for an ultrasound, and you hear two heartbeats. Then, and only then, does your husband tell you that twins run in his family.
Tom: I didn't think it was that big a deal!
Lynette: Your family had eight sets of twins over three generations, not to mention your relatives in Kentucky with triplets! Triplets! So I ask you, do I not deserve to punish this man severely?
Susan: Well, actually, I think that twins are genetically determined by the mother.
Lynette: What are you, a scientist?
Susan: No. No, I write children's books.

Julie: (About the RV) So, is there anything you should prepare me for?
Susan: No, no. It's all good. Oh, but you should know that your bed doubles as the dining table, and the toilet's in the shower.

It's a fact of life in every neighborhood. People move in and people move out. Although very few of them pack up and leave at two o'clock in the morning. But it wasn't the first time that Betty Applewhite had tried to leave in the middle of the night. It had happened once before in Chicago. The same night one of her sons tried to break up with his girlfriend. A young woman named Melanie Foster. Yes, a year had come and gone since the Applewhite's had left Chicago. And Betty thought they could again slip away in the middle of the night. But as she soon discovered, it's not that easy to slip away in the suburbs. Because in suburbia, once the neighbors hear you are going, they all insist on showing up to say goodbye.

Mary Alice

Melanie: And out of nowhere, he just attacked me.
Matthew: My brother's never been violent. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you.
Melanie: But he did.
Matthew: Let me just take you home.
Melanie: This has been pretty traumatic for me. I think that you should come over for the next few days so we can talk it out.
Matthew: We broke up, Mel. It is not my job to hold your hand.

Attorney: Is there anything I can do?
Zach: Yeah, get me a new phone with a different number. And fill in this stupid lake.

Gabrielle: Xiao-mei, do you have a second? This is probably silly, but it's been bothering me. When you said, "please don't kill him," did you mean Carlos?
Xiao-mei: Ralph dead, not Mr. Solis.
Gabrielle: I know. It's just you said, "kill," not "dead." and I'd have to do be pretty angry to kill someone, so I guess my question is, do I have a reason to be angry at Mr. Solis?
Xiao-mei: Please, so much laundry.
Gabrielle: Xiao-mei...how did you rip your panties?
Xiao-mei: I fall down.

It's a shocking moment for each of us. That moment we realize we are all alone in this world. The family we take for granted could one day abandon us. The husband we trust so implicitly might betray us. The daughter we love so deeply perhaps won't return to us. And then we could end up all by ourselves. Of course, some see great value in going it alone.

Mary Alice

Susan Mayer had always believed the one thing about hard times is that you get to find out who your friends really are. When her grandmother died, it was Bree who brought homemade cookies. When the critics panned her third book, it was Gabrielle who hired the handsome masseur. When her divorce became final it was Lynette who poured the scotch. Sadly, Susan's life had been shattered once again. But as always, her friends had come to help pick up the pieces. Yes, hard times were what Susan used to distinguish who was a friend and who wasn't.

Mary Alice

Gabrielle: Susan. We've all been talking. We've decided that you and Julie should stay with Bree.
Susan: Oh, thanks, but that's okay. We'll stay in a motel.
Bree: Absolutely not. Just give me an hour or two to straighten up Andrew's room and then you can bring yourselves over.
Susan: I don't deserve friends like you.
Lynette: We're aware of that.

This cake is a symbol of my love!

Bree

(Bree has stopped Danielle's party because a candle has run out)
Julie: Is she serious?
Danielle: Welcome to my own private hell.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 429 in total

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes

She's good!

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Susan: Maybe we could go out sometime.
Dr. Ron: (pauses, gestures...) Do you like sushi?
Susan: I love sushi. I'm available tomorrow night...
Dr. Ron: No, no, no... tomorrow's no good - I'll still be angry. I should be cooled down by Friday.