Lynette: What if I see him with another woman?
Mrs. McCluskey: (takes Lynette's face in her hands) I own a gun...

Paul: I'm calling the police.
Felicia: No need, I just needed to borrow some flour. I'm a little bit psychic and I predict fresh baked cookies in your future.

Bree: You know what? Maybe Andrew leaving will be good for us. You are all I have left and I am going to be the best mother that I can be.
Danielle: There's definitely room for improvement.

Xiao-Mei: She smell.
Carlos: Who smells? Gaby?
Gabrielle: Excuse me, what?
Xiao-Mei: Her perfume make me sick.
Gabrielle: Honey, it's a hundred bucks an ounce. That tends to make everyone a little nauseous.

Carlos: We're gonna have a baby!
Gabrielle: Oh.
Doctor: You should know that since she's experiencing early symptoms, this might be a tough pregnancy for her.
Carlos: Not a problem. We are gonna treat her like a queen!
Gabrielle: Absolutely. You have nothing to worry about here.

Lynette: Atlantic City?
Tom: Yeah, it's last minute, but Jerry got a great deal on a suite at one of the casinos and a bunch of the old gang is coming in from New York and, god, it's been forever since I have been so, how could I turn that down?
Lynette: Yeah, how indeed.
Tom: What?
Lynette: I didn't say anything.

Bree: I think it's going to be a kick having Susan and Julie stay with us. It'll be like living in a sorority. We'll stay up late and we'll gossip and make s'mores. Doesn't that sound like fun?"
Danielle: Why are you pretending to be happy? I heard you walking around your room all night long. Crying.
Bree: I don't want to talk about it.

Bree: Surprise!
Danielle: What the hell is that?
Bree: Isn't it darling? I made it for your party. It's a big one and a big seven, for seventeen!
Danielle: Were you up all night making that thing?
Bree: Yeah, I just wasn't tired. Oh, I want to show you what else I planned. I think you're gonna love it.

Fine, I'll learn to live without product. But when my hair starts smelling like hair, I don't want to hear a word.

Gabrielle

Carlos: Do you have to be so high-maintenance?
Gabrielle: You married a model, Carlos. Maintenance is my only skill!

Matthew: Mom. Look, I know you're out there. Please, just talk to me. Mom, I need something to drink. Just some water, some juice, something, anything, please. (bangs on the door) Mom! You want me to say I set Caleb up. Yeah, I did it. I started thinking about all those years, years that we had to take care of him and I just thought maybe once he was gone, we could have a normal life. And I'm sorry. But Mom, you have got to let me out of here, now!
(Betty gets up. With a crowbar, she bangs on the door.)
Betty: You! You were willing to stand by and let me murder your brother without reason. It's an unforgivable betrayal! I am so consumed with rage, it's best you stay in there because if I let you out, I don't know what I might do to you!

Gabrielle: Carlos! What's going on?
Carlos: Xiao-Mei is feeling under the weather, so I took up the vacuuming.
Gabrielle: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. So, uh, did you move my beauty products? They're not in the bathroom.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 429 in total

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes

(after Andrew tells her he hates her) The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. And if you hate me, that means you still care, and we're still connected and I still have a chance to set you right.

Bree

Gabrielle: Oh! We missed it!
Libby: The kid slipped right out...
Nurse: Are you family?
Libby: They're the parents.

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