Desperate Housewives

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes (Page 9)

Season 2 Episode 19: "Don't Look at Me"

Susan: Thank you so much for helping me out.
Orson: Hey, I'm great in a crisis.
Susan: Well, I definitely picked the right person to sit next to, actually, is this seat taken?
Orson: No.
Susan: Okay. You can share my popcorn.
(A lady sits next to Orson)
Orson: Um Susan, this is Becky, I'll probably be sharing her popcorn.
Susan: I'll just wait till the lights go out, and then I'll go.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mary Alice: (voiceover) We've all done something in our lives we're ashamed of. Some of us have fallen for the wrong man. (Shot of Karl standing on Susan's porch in his boxers.) Some have let go of the right woman. (Shot of Mike and his date at the movie theatre) There are those who have humiliated their parents (Shot of Parker playing with a puppy) And those who have failed their children (Shot of Gabrielle watching Lily sleep) Yes, we've all made mistakes that diminish us and those we love. (Shot of Bree bringing out a pie to the table) But there is redemption if we try to learn from those mistakes and grow. (Bree cuts the pie while Andrew and Justin play cards)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mary Alice: Louisa Pate believed in the power of shame. As a teacher, she had found the best way to control unruly students was to instill a strong sense of shame in their parents. Of course, Mrs. Pate also knew that when it came to unruly children, some parents had more reason to be ashamed than others. Yes, Louisa Pate believed in the power of shame. She also believed when someone has that power, it's a shame not to use it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Eleanor: It took me a week to forgive Esperanza.
Henry: Now she's like family again.
Eleanor: Family who stole from us.
 • Rating: Unrated

Felicia: Paul? I was making cookies and I heard the most sickening thud. Are you okay?
Paul: There's shortening on my doorstep.
Felicia: Shortening? That's the last thing you'd want on your front porch. It's meant for baking.
 • Rating: Unrated

Paul: These little mind games are going to stop, right now!
Felicia: And if they don't, what are going to do? Blow your brains out, like your wife did?
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Pate: Yesterday afternoon, Parker offered a cookie to Cindy Lou Peeples if she would show him her vagina.
Lynette: What kind of cookie?
Mrs. Pate: What does that matter?
Lynette: Oh, it doesn't. I'm just stalling because I am completely mortified.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 18: "Everybody Says Don't"

Peter: What are you doing?
Bree: I'm just giving you a little kiss.
Peter: Why?
Bree: Well, it's just my way of saying "thank you" for everything you've done for me in the last few weeks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bree: Peter... But... You forgot your shirt!
Peter: (in a rush) Keep it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mary Alice: ...The easiest way to overcome one addiction is to replace it with another one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Frank: Hey... I'm Frank, Libby's boyfriend.
Gabielle: Libby, you didn't tell us you had a boyfriend!
Libby: Didn't I?! I thought I had...
Frank: What's that? A present for our baby?
Carlos: I'm sorry... Did you just say "our baby?"
 • Rating: Unrated

Karl: Speaking of Edie... I have some big news... I finally did it... I popped the question!
Julie: Congratulations dad!
Susan: Yeah... Congratulations! What happened to "waiting 6 months?"
Karl: Edie and I are not getting married tomorrow. It takes months to plan a classic wedding.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lynette: That's not why you came to apologize is it?
Bree: What do you mean?
Lynette: To soften me up for the deposition...
 • Rating: Unrated

Mike: You're just gonna have to let this go.
Felicia: Sounds to me that there's someone let go from his rage!
Mike: Maybe I have.
Felicia: But I haven't!
 • Rating: Unrated

Edie: Don't tell anyone but I'm planning a huge surprise for Karl!
Susan: Surprise?!
Edie: Yeah I put in together an engagement party tomorrow afternoon.
Julie: Oh Cool!
Edie: But that's not the surprise. Actually, it's gonna be a surprise wedding!
 • Rating: Unrated

Edie: If you'll excuse me, I gotta go buy a wedding dress! Oh by the way, I'll be wearing white so that'll be a surprise for everybody!
 • Rating: Unrated

Carlos: He's not going to sell his baby for $8000!
Gabrielle: Are we talking about the same idiot?! I think for $30,000 you throw in a kidney!
 • Rating: Unrated

Libby: Oh come on Frank, you know you'll be a lousy father!
Frank: It's my kid! And I have the right to mess her up If I want to!
 • Rating: Unrated

Gabrielle: So you think Bree punched Andrew in the face 'cause I don't!
Lynette: I don't either, but on the other hand, she spanked my kids, she lied about her drinking, and I once saw her bitchslap her mother-in-law. So I'm torn.
Gabrielle: Well I'm siding with Bree.
 • Rating: Unrated

Donna: Now come on!
Bree: Come on?! Where are we going?!
Donna: Hiking! There is nothing like it to take your mind off booze!
 • Rating: Unrated

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