Lynette: What if I see him with another woman?
Mrs. McCluskey: (takes Lynette's face in her hands) I own a gun...

Paul: I'm calling the police.
Felicia: No need, I just needed to borrow some flour. I'm a little bit psychic and I predict fresh baked cookies in your future.

Bree: You know what? Maybe Andrew leaving will be good for us. You are all I have left and I am going to be the best mother that I can be.
Danielle: There's definitely room for improvement.

Xiao-Mei: She smell.
Carlos: Who smells? Gaby?
Gabrielle: Excuse me, what?
Xiao-Mei: Her perfume make me sick.
Gabrielle: Honey, it's a hundred bucks an ounce. That tends to make everyone a little nauseous.

Carlos: We're gonna have a baby!
Gabrielle: Oh.
Doctor: You should know that since she's experiencing early symptoms, this might be a tough pregnancy for her.
Carlos: Not a problem. We are gonna treat her like a queen!
Gabrielle: Absolutely. You have nothing to worry about here.

Lynette: Atlantic City?
Tom: Yeah, it's last minute, but Jerry got a great deal on a suite at one of the casinos and a bunch of the old gang is coming in from New York and, god, it's been forever since I have been so, how could I turn that down?
Lynette: Yeah, how indeed.
Tom: What?
Lynette: I didn't say anything.

Bree: I think it's going to be a kick having Susan and Julie stay with us. It'll be like living in a sorority. We'll stay up late and we'll gossip and make s'mores. Doesn't that sound like fun?"
Danielle: Why are you pretending to be happy? I heard you walking around your room all night long. Crying.
Bree: I don't want to talk about it.

Bree: Surprise!
Danielle: What the hell is that?
Bree: Isn't it darling? I made it for your party. It's a big one and a big seven, for seventeen!
Danielle: Were you up all night making that thing?
Bree: Yeah, I just wasn't tired. Oh, I want to show you what else I planned. I think you're gonna love it.

Fine, I'll learn to live without product. But when my hair starts smelling like hair, I don't want to hear a word.

Gabrielle

Carlos: Do you have to be so high-maintenance?
Gabrielle: You married a model, Carlos. Maintenance is my only skill!

Matthew: Mom. Look, I know you're out there. Please, just talk to me. Mom, I need something to drink. Just some water, some juice, something, anything, please. (bangs on the door) Mom! You want me to say I set Caleb up. Yeah, I did it. I started thinking about all those years, years that we had to take care of him and I just thought maybe once he was gone, we could have a normal life. And I'm sorry. But Mom, you have got to let me out of here, now!
(Betty gets up. With a crowbar, she bangs on the door.)
Betty: You! You were willing to stand by and let me murder your brother without reason. It's an unforgivable betrayal! I am so consumed with rage, it's best you stay in there because if I let you out, I don't know what I might do to you!

Gabrielle: Carlos! What's going on?
Carlos: Xiao-Mei is feeling under the weather, so I took up the vacuuming.
Gabrielle: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. So, uh, did you move my beauty products? They're not in the bathroom.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 429 in total

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes

(to Susan) Whatever - I'm doing it, so keep your trap shut!

Edie

Let's cut this bitch open!

Dr. Ron
x Close Ad