(to Tom on the phone) I know, you're still mad, I am too, so why don't you come home, we can be mad together.


(In Victor's wive's closet, to Victor) A dress this gorgeous is meant to be seen. Every day it hangs in the closet an angel loses its wings.


Dr. Berman: Hi Mike. So, tell me, I've been dying to know. Did you talk to Susan? Could she remember what the movie was?
Mike: Actually, no.
Dr. Berman: Oh, well, hang in there. We'll figure it out. It's just a matter of time before everything starts coming back. Here, have a seat.
Mike: Uh, listen, you've been really helpful the last few months but I, I think I'm done here.
Dr. Berman: Mike, I know this can be a frustrating process but if you give up now there are so many memories that could be lost to you.
Mike: (resigned) Yeah, I'm okay with that.

Mike: Hey, you got a minute? I need your help with something.
Susan: (holding her groceries) Ahm, I should probably get these inside.
Mike: Please, I- I need to ask you about a movie. ...And so, the last part I remember, the girl is putting these raw pancakes in front of him and then something else funny happened. (Susan is smiling) . I don't remember, it was just a stupid chick flick.
Susan: Mike, it wasn't a movie, that was us.
Mike: What?
Susan: Yeah, ahm, that was the first night we spent together. I wanted to surprise you.
Mike: With raw pancakes?
Mike: They weren't all raw. I was trying to spell MIKE and the M was goopy but the IKE was delicious, you loved it.
Mike: I did, huh?
Susan: Actually no, it was gross. You were really sweet, you just gave me a lot of kisses and said not to worry, I'd get a lot of chances to make you pancakes cause-
Mike: Cause I was planning on spending the rest of my mornings with you.
Susan: You remember.
Mike: Yeah.

Gabrielle: You can't force me to take off this dress!
Samantha: This is pepper spray. In three seconds your eyeballs will be on fire.
Gabrielle: Could you help me with the clasp?

(narrating) This is my friend Tom. Have you heard what he's been up to lately? The silly bastard opened up his own pizza place. He thought that if he was his own boss, he could sleep in as late as he wanted, but the problem with that logic is that married guys... are never their own boss.


(narrating) Take a drive down any street in suburbia. Know what you're gonna see? Desperate women. That's right.. one unhappy housewife after another, each completely miserable.. in her own unique way. But I don't want to talk about them. No, I want to talk about their men and what happens to a guy when that special lady in his life starts to lose it. Like my friend Carlos. He used to have it all.. hot wife, tons of dough, then bam! She gets a divorce, and he gets stuck with the bill. But does he sit around and complain like your average hausfrau? No, Sir. He finds creative ways to get what you can out of life.


(narrating) My name is Rex Van De Kamp. I always hated cemeteries when I was alive. Now that I'm dead, I like 'em even less. Here's where I used to live.. a whole lot nicer, don't you think? The place hasn't changed much since I left.. as tasteful and tidy as ever. Everything perfect.. at least on the surface. My family was the same way. Look at us. You'd never guess how ticked off we all were the day this was taken, but that was the thing about us Van De Kamps. To really fit in, you had to have a smile that gave away nothing. Like my son Andrew.. to look at him, you'd never know he spent six months on the streets supporting himself with panhandling and light prostitution. Or my daughter Danielle.. does she look like the kind of girl who'd seduce her middle-aged history teacher? I mean, they're my kids, and I love 'em, but I'm pretty darn relieved to be dead. Here's the clown Bree replaced me with.. Orson. I don't mind saying, he's creeped me out right from the get-go. To me, he always has the shifty look of a guy who knows where the bodies are buried.. and he should know. He buried them. But Bree thinks he's Sir Galahad. The kids like him. And all my friends.. now, his friends. So it pleases me to know that at least one of my old neighbors sees right through the guy.


Orson: The hotel number is on the fridge in case there's a problem.
Andrew: Actually, we kind of already have a problem.
Orson: I'm already late for my flight, can this problem wait a few weeks till we're back?
Andrew: Yes, it can wait a few weeks. I mean, heck, this can wait... nine months.
Orson: (looks at Danielle, who looks worried)Oh, Lord.

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