Devious Maids

Sundays 10:00 PM on Lifetime
Devious maids
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"I don't care about photos. I don't care about evidence. My maid was murdered! Who's going to clean it up?

Evelyn

Please stop. I just took a Valium and you are ruining it.

Evelyn

I'm not going to hold you. I'm wearing silk and you are moist.

Evelyn

Genevieve: When I looked in the mirror today, I found a new wrinkle.
Zoila: Really... just the one?

I don't see why feminists complain so much. Being a sex object is fun.

Genevieve

Oh, the things I've seen today. I'm going to have to go to confession twice this week.

Rosie

This rug is worth $100,000. If you ruin it, I will personally see that you end up in the public school system.

Evelyn

Valentina: Would you say you ended up with the love of your life?
Zoila: Absolutely.
Valentina: Then, let me end up with mine.

"You're wearing your smug smile... the one that makes me want to strike you."

Evelyn

It's ironic. My life sucks, but my vacuum doesn't.

Evelyn

Adrian: I love you. I just don't want to touch you.
Evelyn: That sentence just cost you $50 million dollars.

"We have a saying here in Beverly Hills. To steal another one's husband is rude. To steal her maid is unforgivable." 

Evelyn
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 84 in total

Devious Maids Quotes

"I don't care about photos. I don't care about evidence. My maid was murdered! Who's going to clean it up?

Evelyn

"I think what you people do is heroic. You wash clothes you can't afford. You polish silver you will never dine with. You mop floors for people who don't bother to learn your last names, and still you dare to dream of a better life. I am in awe of your determination to succeed in this great country of ours. That said, if you don't stop screwing my husband, I'm going to have you deported. Comprende?"

Evelyn