Zoila: I say you’re an amazing woman.
Genevieve: So true.

I could care less if you sleep with her. It makes no difference to me, but just know Tanya’s breasts are fake and she’s had Chlamydia twice.

Evelyn

Trust me, I landed two husbands with these.

Genevieve

Genevieve: You know he thinks you’re lovely in that ugly top.
Zoila: You gave me this top.

Genevieve: This is the answer to our prayers. God has sent you a handsome, successful man you can use to torture and torment your husband. Do not reject this gift from above.
Zoila: Well, I do try to be a good Catholic.

Trust me. The man bowels are nothing but predictable.

Evelyn

Tony: How soon until we go in and take off our clothes?
Evelyn: Out of respect, we should wait until his car leaves the driveway.

At some point I must have given you the impression I enjoy small talk with the help, and that’s not the case. Will you please accept my apology as you leave to scrub my toilet?

Evelyn

Evelyn: After our last conversation, she gave me this look of disdain.
Tony: Are you sure?
Evelyn: I know that look. It’s the same look I give people who fly coach.

Adrian: Why do you look so exhausted?
Evelyn: Perhaps because I begin so many of my days with conversations like this.

Genevieve: I always tell you about my sexual adventures.
Zoila: And I always ask you to stop.

Our marriage is not based on love and that is why we have so much fun.

Adrian

Devious Maids Quotes

Valentina: I pray.
Adrien: Poor people have the most interesting hobbies.

"I don't care about photos. I don't care about evidence. My maid was murdered! Who's going to clean it up?

Evelyn