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Devious-maids

At some point I must have given you the impression I enjoy small talk with the help, and that’s not the case. Will you please accept my apology as you leave to scrub my toilet?

Evelyn

Tony: How soon until we go in and take off our clothes?
Evelyn: Out of respect, we should wait until his car leaves the driveway.

Trust me. The man bowels are nothing but predictable.

Evelyn

Genevieve: This is the answer to our prayers. God has sent you a handsome, successful man you can use to torture and torment your husband. Do not reject this gift from above.
Zoila: Well, I do try to be a good Catholic.

Genevieve: You know he thinks you’re lovely in that ugly top.
Zoila: You gave me this top.

Trust me, I landed two husbands with these.

Genevieve

I could care less if you sleep with her. It makes no difference to me, but just know Tanya’s breasts are fake and she’s had Chlamydia twice.

Evelyn

Zoila: I say you’re an amazing woman.
Genevieve: So true.

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I will never handle any gun – especially yours.

Evelyn
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