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Dexter Morgan: I like to pretend I'm alone. Completely alone. Maybe post-apocalypse or plague... Whatever. No-one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be... freeing.
Sergeant Doakes: [Doakes seemingly walks up out of nowhere] Stop grinning like a fucking psycho and get back to work!

I love you, bro, but sometimes you're a fucking 'tard.


I've never been around so many people who made me feel normal. [Pause] Really normal.

If it's working, who am I to poop on your parade?


I need to be a good brother now, so I can be a good serial killer later.

Ever hear of a comb? Looks like you have a cat on your head.


I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure... I'm totally lost.

Dexter Morgan

Debra Morgan: Watching ice melt, this is fun.
Vince Masuka: Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart.
Angel Batista: I think he's got a crush on you, Dex!
Dexter Morgan: Huh?
Vince Masuka: Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuka only swings one way.
Debra Morgan: Yeah, from vine to vine...
Lt. Maria Laguerta: Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.

(voice over) There are many ways to stop the heart, electric shock, bad diet, sever the aorta, my personal favorite, but to start one beating, this is a first.

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