There's a horror movie named Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everybody keeps invading you.

The Doctor

The Doctor: Beardy weirdy?
Santa: Yes?
The Doctor: How do you get all the presents into your sleigh?
Santa: Bigger on the inside.
Elf: Oooooh.

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The Doctor: You know what the big problem is in telling fantasy and reality apart?
Ashley: What?
The Doctor: They're both ridiculous.

Shona: If you are Santa, what are you doing here?
Santa Claus: It's the North Pole. I own it.

Oh. Sorry about this. Well! We are just three passing, perfectly normal roof people doing some emergency roof things. Carry on. Merry Christmas, if it is Christmas, I mean. Ha ha. I don't much care for things like that. Ha ha ha haaa.


Of course, the earth's darkest hour and mine. Where else would you be?

The Doctor

Danny: Attention! This is not a good day. This is earth's darkest hour! And look at you miserable lot. We are the fallen and today we shall rise, the Army of the Dead shall save the Land of the Living. This is not the order of a general, nor the whim of a lunatic [Missy: Excuse me?!]. This is a promise! The promise of a soldier! You will sleep safe tonight.

Thank you! Thank you so much! I really didn't know. I wasn't sure. Did I say sometimes, thank you! I am not a good man. And I'm not a bad man. I am not a hero. I'm definitely not a president and no, I'm not an officer. You know what I am? I am an idiot! With a box and a screwdriver, passing through, helping out, learning. I don't need an army. I never have! Because I've got them. Always them! Because love, it's not an emotion. Love is a promise and he will never hurt her. PE, catch!

The Doctor

The Doctor: Why are you doing this?
Missy: I need you to know we're not so different! I need my friend back. Every battle, every war, every invasion. From now on, you decide the outcome. What's the matter Mr. President? Don't you trust yourself?

Oh go on. Crack a smile. I want to see if your eyebrows drop off.


Clara: I wasn't very good at it, but I did love you.
Danny: I loved you, too.
Clara: I'm never gonna say that again.
Danny: Me neither.
Clara: Ready?
Danny: Yeah.
Clara: I feel like I'm killing you.
Danny: I'm already dead. You're here this time, at least.
Clara: Goodbye Danny.
Danny: Goodbye Clara.

Clara, watch this. This is who The Doctor is. Watch the blood soaked old general in action. I can't see properly sir, because this needs activating. If you want to know what's coming, you have to switch it on. Didn't all of those beautiful speeches disappear in the face of a tactical advantage? Sir.


Doctor Who Quotes

You’ll find that it’s a very small universe when I’m angry with you.

The Doctor

Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame. Whatever the cost.

Warrior Doctor