Sundays 10:30 PM on HBO
Eastbound-and-down

Stupid cookout. As if their f*cking cookout is any sort of big thing. You should see my f*cking cookouts, man. When I was back in Seattle, I had the goddamn Spoonman from the Soundgarden videos coming to my sh*t. I'm talking 6 grills burning at all times. Tiki torches, 3 whole pigs, sh*tloads of macaroni and cheeses, baked potatoes, collard greens, a horse, f*cking Puerto Rican chicks showing their pussies and tits off everywhere. They were amazing.

Kenny Powers

I don't know what's going on, man. I'm just all jammed up inside. Lost my abilities. Been stripped of all of my god-given talents. Including the talents to be able to have sex with any woman I choose, or throw a f*cking ball fast, or to not prematurely come in my pants. Sometimes I just don't even know which one hurts the most. I'm ashamed of myself.

Kenny Powers

There's one thing I have learned through all my adventures and conquests - it's that some people are just wired for success. I had no choice when it came to being great - I just am great.

Kenny Powers

I am not trying to sound cocky or full of myself, but Kenny Powers has a sneaking suspicion that no matter what comes his way he will always be great. Because that's just the way sh*t works sometimes.

Kenny Powers

(To his hired date) I said put something nice on. You look like a busted Daytona stripper in that.

Kenny

Kenny: Did you get my shit?
(Clegg hands a bag to Kenny)
Kenny: Why is it in a fucking zip-lock bag? What is this mushrooms? Clegg, I'm talking about steroids.

Stevie: Terrence, I don't teach you how to principal I don't think you should tell me how to teach band.
Terrence: You clearly don't understand the employer-employee relationship.
Stevie: Uh, I'm starting to and I don't like it.

Displaying all 7 quotes

Eastbound & Down Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Stevie: Terrence, I don't teach you how to principal I don't think you should tell me how to teach band.
Terrence: You clearly don't understand the employer-employee relationship.
Stevie: Uh, I'm starting to and I don't like it.

(To his hired date) I said put something nice on. You look like a busted Daytona stripper in that.

Kenny
×