Sundays 10:30 PM on HBO
Eastbound-and-down

It seems to me an establishment such as this could go for an overhaul in the advertising spokesman game. I'm talking about a real celebrity, not some sign spinning f*cking monkey. I'm talking about goddamn me in the store, live, un-cut, in person, bringing in the customers, lubing the deals.

Kenny Powers

There's one image in my life that consistently makes me happy, no matter when I think about it, and that image, that one image is your big tits.

Kenny Powers

One time I was invited to come to a social gathering. I was paid a handsome amount of money, and I bought a shotgun and a bottle of Tanqueray and showed those people the best f*cking time they've ever seen.

Kenny Powers

The humongous part about being a celebrity is cashing in on it - making sh*tloads of money, having expensive, luxurious things. That way in case one day you're not famous you can still be rich as hell and better than everyone around you.

Kenny Powers

I'm the man who has the ball. I'm the man who can throw it faster than f**k. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my d**k... everyone.

Kenny Powers

But a true champion, face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.

Kenny Powers

I play real sports, not try to be the best at exercising.

Kenny Powers

Sure, I've been called a xenophobe, but the truth is, I'm not. I honestly just feel that America is the best country and the other countries aren't as good. That used to be called patriotism.

Kenny Powers

A lot of people ask me, 'Kenny Powers, you're a giant superstar. You can get any woman. Have you ever paid for sex?' And the answer is yes, I have. Several times, in fact. And it's actually kinda cool. You can negotiate practically anything and sometimes, even just kind of do stuff in the moment that you never agreed to pay for and it goes by without much argument.

Kenny Powers
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