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This is not a bucket list. This is a suck-it list.

Darryl

Josh: (Josh has lipstick on his face as he introduces himself to Roxie inside a jail cell)I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. I've been trying to get Chad to have you over for dinner.
Roxie: (to Chad) Younger brother?
Josh: And a friend of Mia's.
Roxie: Yeah, I can see her friendship smeared all over your face.

Joanna: Penny, we're in a crisis. I've got my back against the wall. There's only one thing to do.
Penny: What's that?
Joanna: We need to party.

(to Roxie) Hey, I thought we could go to your place for slunch, which is my new word for sex plus lunch.

Chad

Roxie: Excuse me, young lady?!
Mia: You are not allowed to 'young lady' me. For fifteen years, you've been trying to be my pal. You can't just turn around and be my mom.
Roxie: I will 'young lady' you all I want, young lady! And believe me, I am your mom. I have the stretch marks to prove it.

Will: You're a good friend.
Kat: And you're acting like a moron! Smarten up and be nice to Joanna.

Darryl: This is what I'm talking about. Sharing our feelings, food fights, tickle fights. I just love celebrating with you ladies!
Roxie: Tickle fights?
Darryl: Drink some more wine.

Would you like some of my duck in your mouth?

Darryl

Here's to liquid courage!

Darryl

The inner animals of our citizenry will be released.

Darryl

Nobody puts Joanna in a corner.

Kat

That's one of the really... perplexing things about life, isn't it? Any true pleasure comes with a price. We drink too much, we wake up hung over. We eat too much, we pack on the pounds. You enjoy one moment of lust, and you live a lifetime of guilt. Yeah, what feels good comes with a cost. At the end of the day, it's just a matter of figuring out how much you are willing to pay.

Darryl
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Eastwick Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

Nobody puts Joanna in a corner.

Kat

That's one of the really... perplexing things about life, isn't it? Any true pleasure comes with a price. We drink too much, we wake up hung over. We eat too much, we pack on the pounds. You enjoy one moment of lust, and you live a lifetime of guilt. Yeah, what feels good comes with a cost. At the end of the day, it's just a matter of figuring out how much you are willing to pay.

Darryl