Sherlock: Learning to see the puzzle in everything? They're everywhere once you start looking, it's impossible to stop. It just so happens, people and all their deceits and illusions that inform everything that they do tends to be the most fascinating puzzles of all. Of course, they don't always appreciate being seen as such.
Watson: Seems like a lonely way to live.
Sherlock: As I said, it has its costs.

For future reference. When I say I agree with you, it means I'm not listening.

Sherlock

Joan: [To Sherlock] I'm going to miss this, working with you. I think what you do is amazing.
Later On...
Sherlock: [To Joan] I'm going to miss this, working with you. I think what you do is amazing.

I often wonder if I should have been born at another time. My senses are unusually, some might say unnaturally keen, and ours is an era of distraction. It's a punishing drumbeat of constant input. It follows us into our homes and into our beds. It seeps into our... Into our souls, for want of a better word. For a long time, there was only one solution for my raw nerve endings and that was copious drug use. In my less productive moments, I'm given to wonder.... If I had just been born when it was a little quieter out there, would I have even become an addict in the first place? Might I have been more focused? A more fully realized person?

Sherlock

You named a bee after me?

Watson

Watson. OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL?!?! Ty I'm going to have to call you back.
Sherlock: You're right about a stress relief, I felt like Jimi Hendrix for a second there.
Watson: You didn't have to do that?
Sherlock: Ty, funny name that, noun, verb, nationality, food.

Sherlock: I will never allow any harm to come to you, not ever.
Joan: You can't promise that.
Sherlock: And yet I did.

[To Joan] For what it's worth, he's not bringing HIS wife either.

Sherlock

I'm Sherlock Holmes, I am a temporarily suspended consultant for the NYPD. This is Joan Watson and she keeps me from doing heroine.

Sherlock

[To Sherlock] I am dissecting a body in the middle of the night. We are not having a moment.

Watson

Sherlock: Has anyone heard the theory that the CIA created crack cocaine?
Joan: I have
Sherlock: I started that.

Gregson: I've been a cop for 30 years, I carry a gun.
Watson: And a penis.

Elementary Quotes

Aaron: What is I.M.L.T.H.O?
Sherlock: In my less than humble opinion.
Watson: You're abbreviations are becoming borderline indecipherable. I don't know why, because you are obviously capable being articulate.
Sherlock: Language is evolving Watson becoming a more effective version of itself. I love text shorthand. It's a way you to convey content and tone without losing velocity.

Holmes: Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?
Watson: I don't hate my job.
Holmes: You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.