Gregson: I've been a cop for 30 years, I carry a gun.
Watson: And a penis.

Sherlock: I will never allow any harm to come to you, not ever.
Joan: You can't promise that.
Sherlock: And yet I did.

Sherlock: What are you doing?
Watson: Depriving you of all stimuli; time for you to get some sleep.
Sherlock: What? No, no. Right after you solve a case, you're flushed with a success. We should double down with work.
Watson: We?
Sherlock: You, me, Angus, some combination of the three. You already know I favor you.

In Sherlock Holmes, I believe.


Sherlock: She died.
Watson: Irene?
Sherlock: We were quite close, I did not take her passing well.

If you haven't already, I strongly suggest you find yourself a new spatula.


Sherlock: Ugh. What is that? I asked for coffee.
Watson: Well, you asked for coffee but you got tea.
Sherlock: No. I'm British. This is not tea.

If something were ever to happen to you, I am not sure I'd be able to forgive myself.


Sherlock: We can tell my father I've hit a bit of a rough patch...
Watson: I took a new job this morning. I'll be starting next week after you and I wrap up.
Sherlock: I see... I'm usually quite good with deductions.
Watson: You okay?
Sherlock: My dear Watson, when ever am I not?

Watson: Do you close yourself off to people, deny yourself things that might bring you pleasure? Not because it makes you a better investigator but because it's some sort of penance?
Sherlock: Penitence?
Watson: For what happened in London? Being addicted? I don't know, it just occurred to me that it might something someone would do and not even know it.
Sherlock: You always know it, Watson. If you didn't, it wouldn't be penance.

Watson: I notice you don't have any mirrors around here.
Holmes: What is that supposed to mean?
Watson: That you know a lost cause when you see one.

Watson: There's just one question I want to ask you about your past.
Sherlock: Excellent, you wait here and I'll go to my room, shut the door. Soon as you're absolutely certain I can't hear you, ask away.

Elementary Quotes

[about Sherlock] Fluent in three dozen languages, and he still hasn't seen Say Anything.


Morland: You don't look well.
Sherlock: You look as spry as ever. My compliments to the virgins whose blood you bathe in.