Joan: A woman did this to you.
Sherlock: ...a highly-trained woman.

Well, you're lying, so I'll just have to investigate the matter myself.


I could have sworn I had that statue removed!

Morland [regarding Sherlock]

Bell: Is *anything* this kid's doing legal?
Sherlock: Define 'legal.'

You think the State of New York took out a hit on a Russian oligarch?!


Sherlock: [about a potential suspect] Weird enough to have taken several lives last night?
Mason: She likes cats, so, sure.

There are three surviving Holmes men, and you've sampled the carnal wares of one. Two would be a pattern.


Mason: So, why do you care? I'm just saying, he was a bad guy, now he's dead. You should go see a movie or something.
Joan: The people who killed him also killed his bodyguard and the valet who was getting his car.
Sherlock: And even if there were no innocent victims, no murder should go unsolved, and no murderer should walk free. To think otherwise is to descend into a pit of moral relativism.

Gregson: Where is Sherlock?
Bell: He was out with some friends. I sent a radio car to get him.
Gregson: [dubiously] Since when does he have friends?
Joan: These are more 'exercise partners'...

I can't accept an alibi from anyone with that particular hairstyle.


I was mistaken. You don't know what my partner looks like naked.


Lack of witnesses won't be a problem -- they're us.


Elementary Quotes

You want to steal something from a heavily-armed, meth-dealing band of bike-riding Satanists.


Holmes: Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?
Watson: I don't hate my job.
Holmes: You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.