I don't know what's weirder … that I'm spending my Friday night with you or the Stanley freaking Cup.


It kills you that an unremarkable prisoner could figure out how to escape from prison when you can't.


The great love of my life is a homicidal maniac. No one's perfect.


You think you broke us up with the power of your mind?


Sherlock: I have what some might call a strong personality.
Bell: Nah.

We had to put her in the Shoe. Oh, that's solitary.
Joan. We get Netflix.

Deputy Warden McCann

You're firing me, so you can be my friend?


After many, many hours, I've come to most wretched of realizations. One that might curdle your very blood. You are my friend.


You're bad at this, Marty. You're exceptionally bad.


I prefer police contact me through my lawyer, not my dentist

Janko Stepovic

The full spectrum of commerce and communication flows through her optic fibers as well as the requisite glut of pornography and cat videos.


Finn: At one time almost every great religion has been attacked as a cult.
Sherlock: So have most cults.

Elementary Quotes

Holmes: Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?
Watson: I don't hate my job.
Holmes: You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.

Watson: How do you do it, guess things?
Sherlock: I observe and then I deduce.
Watson: How did you know I was a doctor, you said you could tell from my hands.
Sherlock: Hand, singular. It was soft no calluses.
Watson: How did you know my father had an affair?
Sherlock: Google. Not everything is deducible.