[To Joan] I'm curious to know which one of us is right about my brother. I have my money on me.


Sherlock is addicted to being himself.


Sherlock: Watson, this is Fatty.
Mycroft: Fatty? Not anymore.
Sherlock: Lap band?
Mycroft: Exercise?
Sherlock: Exercise requires energy and ambition, and you've never had either.

What do you expect from a guy named Geezer Bob?


Hopkins: You look exactly the same!
Sherlock: As do you. Except that you've gained a stone and quarter, and your hairline is receding.
Hopkins: You're slipping, I've gained exactly a stone and a half.
Sherlock: I'm not slipping, I've just grown more courteous.

[To Joan] Without you the airline might seat me next to a morbidly obese person, or child, or morbidly obese child.


I see you've been tending to your self defense.


[To Moriarty] We both made a mistake. We fell in love.


Joan: You're scared of him.
Moriarty: I'm scared of what he might make me do.

[To Moriarty] You said there is only one person who surprises you. I guess they're are two.


[To Moriarty] She solved you, you know. My mascot.


You named a bee after me?


Elementary Quotes

Holmes: Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?
Watson: I don't hate my job.
Holmes: You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.

Watson: How do you do it, guess things?
Sherlock: I observe and then I deduce.
Watson: How did you know I was a doctor, you said you could tell from my hands.
Sherlock: Hand, singular. It was soft no calluses.
Watson: How did you know my father had an affair?
Sherlock: Google. Not everything is deducible.