Ari: How can one embryo produce two fucking losers?
Jim: Ari, what's the problem?
Ari: The problems is, you're a disgusting mutant. Now go re-conjoin with your brother on the unemployment line.

She's a chick Lloyd, there may be hope for you yet


Jim: He fucked my wife, Ari.
Ari: He did not. You did? You fucked his wife? As you?
Jeff: What?
Ari: Did you pretend to be him or did she actually fuck, thinking you were you? .. I'm just ... I'm trying to figure out why she did that. I mean, If I was to cheat on my wife it would be with like a busty blond or an Asian with porny nipples. But an exact fucking replica

Bring them into my office when this is over and remind me to sell this as a reality show.

Ari [referring to the twins fighting]

Ari: You know how siblings can be, right?
Jim: Oh, you have a brother?
Ari: I do, and a whore of a sister. So I can relate to the siblings-squablings

Well listen, if you want people to call you back may I suggest that you get a van, with a large bullhorn on the top, drive around Hollywood announcing that after three years of hibernating in Vincent Chase's ass, Eric Murphey has come out to play!


Eric [answering the phone]: Eric Murphey
Ari: Like the new office number E. You know it spells 274-COCK
Eric: It does not!
Ari: No it doesn't but I made you look

Jim, listen to me. Just man the fuck up, OK? We got Mary J. coming in today, it's time to heed the woman's lyrics; No More Drama!


So, you've come to acquire my newly-acquired desk

Gary Busey
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