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Eric: I just had sex with Sloan two hours ago. I'm not going to call another girl."
Johnny Drama: Why not? Double headers are the best.
Turtle: Yeah, just shower.
Drama: No f*ck that, I wouldn't even brush my teeth. Just splash a little water on it and you're good to go.
- Permalink: I just had sex with Sloan two hours ago. I'm not going to call a...
Ari: Bobby? Flay? You're... dating a cook?
Mrs. Ari: He's a chef, Ari. And he's a businessman. And he's kind, and respectful and generous.
Ari: He's a red-headed fire crotch. He's a genetic mistake!
- Permalink: Bobby? Flay? You're... dating a cook? He's a chef, Ari. And he...
Lloyd: I just wish you two were together. Because you're like the perfect couple. Like Lady Di and Charles.
Ari: Lady Di and Charles got divorced and then she died. Now shut the f*ck up.
- Permalink: I just wish you two were together. Because you're like the perfe...
Dice: She's the Avion girl
Dice: Get the f*ck out of here, she's hot. How'd you get her?"
Turtle: I don't know, Dice.
Dice: And you banged Tony Soprano's daughter for a while too?
Turtle: What'd you Google me? Yeah, I did.
Dice: Kid must have a horse c*ck."
Scott: No no no, I've shared a locker room with him.
- Permalink: She's the Avion girl Yeah. Get the f*ck out of here, she's h...
Eric: What do I do about Sloan?
Johnny Drama: Well I'd get my stuff out of there before she works herself into an Elin Nordegren state.
- Permalink: What do I do about Sloan? Well I'd get my stuff out of there b...
Eric: Your grammar's horrible.
Vince: "Who cares?
Eric: We were in the same classes since we were six, it's just shocking to me you can't punctuate.
Vince: Eh, it was all stream of consciousness.
Turtle: You can't really spell either, Vin. F-a-i-t-h-f-e-l.
Eric: No it isn't.
Johnny Drama: It's 'o-l.'
Eric: No, it isn't.
Drama: So says you.
Eric: Are you guys all illiterate? Mrs. Carbone would shoot herself if she heard this.
- Permalink: Your grammar's horrible. Who cares? We were in the same clas...
Johnny Drama: Why are you dressed like it's '04?
Turtle: All my clothes burned up in the fire. Why are you dressed for a bisexual paintball tournament is a better question?"
Drama: Bisexual? This shirt is mad hetero. Look at these pythons. You can clearly see I'm hiding an 8-pack under here.
Eric: You haven't had an 8-pack to hide since the early '70s, Drama.
- Permalink: Why are you dressed like it's '04? All my clothes burned up in...