Entourage

Sundays 10:30 PM on HBO

Season: 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Entourage Quotes (Page 3)

Episode 3: "One Last Shot"

Ari: I'm not scared. I'm scared for the town. Because once I go out, women will fall and men will start wailing.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ari: You're the good kind of addict. You're the I-got-messed-up-with-the-wrong-girl-and-ended-up-on-a-blow-bender addict. But Ertz is the Skeevy-old-man-who-got-caught with-a-crack-pipe-and-the-17-year-old-from-Speed-Racer addict.
Vince: Michael Vick drowned puppies and they let him play again.
Ari: Ertz doesn't have Vick's arm strength.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Vince: I was just telling my buddy over here how the program got me to let go of all of my anger towards you.
Carl: Well that's good.
Turtle: Yeah, I'm not in the program, so I still think you're a douche.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 2: "Out With a Bang"

Eric: I just had sex with Sloan two hours ago. I'm not going to call another girl."
Johnny Drama: Why not? Double headers are the best.
Turtle: Yeah, just shower.
Drama: No f*ck that, I wouldn't even brush my teeth. Just splash a little water on it and you're good to go.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ari: Bobby? Flay? You're... dating a cook?
Mrs. Ari: He's a chef, Ari. And he's a businessman. And he's kind, and respectful and generous.
Ari: He's a red-headed fire crotch. He's a genetic mistake!
• Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Lloyd: I just wish you two were together. Because you're like the perfect couple. Like Lady Di and Charles.
Ari: Lady Di and Charles got divorced and then she died. Now shut the f*ck up.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dice: She's the Avion girl
Turtle: Yeah.
Dice: Get the f*ck out of here, she's hot. How'd you get her?"
Turtle: I don't know, Dice.
Dice: And you banged Tony Soprano's daughter for a while too?
Turtle: What'd you Google me? Yeah, I did.
Dice: Kid must have a horse c*ck."
Scott: No no no, I've shared a locker room with him.
• Rating: Unrated

Eric: What do I do about Sloan?
Johnny Drama: Well I'd get my stuff out of there before she works herself into an Elin Nordegren state.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Eric: Your grammar's horrible.
Vince: "Who cares?
Eric: We were in the same classes since we were six, it's just shocking to me you can't punctuate.
Vince: Eh, it was all stream of consciousness.
Turtle: You can't really spell either, Vin. F-a-i-t-h-f-e-l.
Eric: No it isn't.
Johnny Drama: It's 'o-l.'
Eric: No, it isn't.
Drama: So says you.
Eric: Are you guys all illiterate? Mrs. Carbone would shoot herself if she heard this.
• Rating: Unrated

Johnny Drama: Why are you dressed like it's '04?
Turtle: All my clothes burned up in the fire. Why are you dressed for a bisexual paintball tournament is a better question?"
Eric: Agreed.
Drama: Bisexual? This shirt is mad hetero. Look at these pythons. You can clearly see I'm hiding an 8-pack under here.
Eric: You haven't had an 8-pack to hide since the early '70s, Drama.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 1: "Home Sweet Home"

Girl at party: So is [Alex] here? Where is that gorgeous girl anyway?
Turtle: Nah, she's off on the Avion publicity tour.
Girl: That's too bad. I would've totally had a threesome with you guys.
• Rating: Unrated

Scott [to girls at Vince's party]: Hey, did you guys come together? If not, do you want to?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Vince: So, what's up with you guys, huh?
Ari: What are you talking about? Nothing's up with these guys. They've been frozen like Ted Williams waiting for the return of their life, and now that it has returned let's get back to it.
• Rating: Unrated

Lloyd: Ari, you haven't had any time for anything since...
Ari: Since what?
Lloyd: Since the s-e-p-a-r-a-t-i-o-n.
Jonah: I can spell separation, you know.
Ari: Get out. And don't ever spell in front of my son again. He's s-m-a-r-t-e-r than you.
• Rating: Unrated

Johnny Drama: I told you to clear this place of all drugs.
Turtle: Advil?
Johnny Drama: All means all. Aspirins, cough suppressants. I don't even want a throat lozenge in this house!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0